Tag: Motor bike helmet

I’m back – but not for long ! Whats been happening ?

To be absolutely honest Im not sure how to start this blog and definitely don’t know how to end it !  The middle is looking a bit doubtful as well.  You’ve had a gap of almost 2 and a half months without having to put yourself through this drivel ( is that right or is it “drivle” or “dribble” or “dibble” – no definitely not that ‘cos he was an officer of the law – Officer Charlie Dibble, Top Cat, Spook, Benny the Ball, Choo Choo, The Brain, Spook, Fancy-Fancy – how sad am I   and I can picture them as well !!!!! !) Anyway I digress. Parts of this Im going to only touch on briefly and parts Im going to expand upon – I’ll probably get it the wrong way round but hey story of my life!

Some of you may wonder why I haven’t written this driv……. rubbish for such a while.  Well back in April I had to unexpectedly fly back home due to a health issue to Laura,  eldest daughter  or as they would say out here in Malawi – my first born !  This is the bit that Im going to briefly mention.  Suffice it to say that she is an amazing person and someone that I know all of us are truly truly proud of.  She is currently undergoing treatment and has such a positive spirit that it just blows us all away!

 

 

Love her  My first born with her third born – I think or it could be the second born by a couple of minutes !  Ill get it right which is which one day !

 

 

Anyway moving on swiftly ………… after lots of discussions I returned a couple of weeks ago to Malawi to see the rest of my time out and to complete all the necessary tasks that one has to do before leaving a country that they’ve lived in for 12 months -like selling a car ( now that really is a whole blog in itself and even I would fall asleep if I went through that one !; getting police clearance to leave; packing all the things that you left behind previously;  doing all the things that you had 12 months to do them in but for some reason you leave it till the last 2 weeks and then you can’t fit them all in; ( or is that just me and my procrastination – world champion at that for the last 20 years running !); and of course seeing all the people that have been so much a part of a very strange life for the last 12 months.

 

And return I did to complete my final 4 weeks in Malawi. I arrived to a much colder than I remembered Malawi and of course didn’t pack any jumpers as such – strange how you remember it being hot as its Africa when in reality its flipping cold in their winter – like now – particularly in the evenings.  But never mind Id soon be away from the coldness of the capital, Lilongwe to the warmer climes of Mangochi and the Lake.

Well I needn’t have worried about not packing a jumper as my bag didn’t arrive at the same time as I did. Readers of previous blogs know that this is becoming a habit of watching lots of brightly coloured bags going round and round until you’re just  left standing just watching a moving belt with just one pink bag that just keeps going round and round.  It’s not yours but you’re the only person standing watching it.  

Strangely I even took a photograph of my bag before I left the Uk – weird thing to do have a bag selfie ! but it came in very useful when trying to describe my bag to a Malawian official who was clearly at the end of his shift – I mean it wasn’t his fault ! and he didn’t speak much english – I mean why should he !  So with very small rucksack and just the clothes I travelled in I spend the next few days waiting patiently for the phone call – “Your bag has arrived” ! yeeeee ………….

On the getting to the warmer climate in Mangochi that didn’t go so well either as the powers that be found it difficult to arrange transport for me so that I could actually start doing what i was supposed to do ( my car having practically blown up on my journey to the airport in April – well nobody told me you had to put water in it ! )

Well after kicking my heels for a week in the capital, taking in a few “greens” and listening to some pretty cool jazz in a very un-Malawian bar , transport was finally arranged and I arrived to do what I had come to do but now all I had left was just under 3 weeks. So off I set ………

Up bright and early to get an early start.    Sit on the bike first thing in the morning (about 6:30) probably not quite awake and attempt to kick start it. Nothing happens. No life at all.  After many attempts still no life.  Then my friendly guard says,

” Petrol ?”

“Of course I’ve got p…….”  mmmm maybe not.  Shake the tank and not a lot of sloshing about of petrol !!!  Why dont Bikes have petrol gauges ???  Right so off I go with my empty plastic 2 litre Ginger beer bottle and start to walk to the garage but they call it a filling station which is probably more accurate description………’cos thats what they do ….. fill……. that is when they have petrol which isn’t always certain by any means. And to b e fair they always clean your windscreen as well.  Starting to walk to the filling station I spy a passing “Njinga” thats a bicycle taxi to you and me. ( I think thats how you spell it ) N is silent as the p in swimming – ( the old ones are the best !)

“Eeeway” I shout   ( and thats definitely not how you spell it but it could be sounded out properly by an average Yr1 pupil ready to do his/her Phonics test of made up words !)  Actually it’s “Ewa” A quick translation from the Chichewa is  “Oi You”  Often used to young Learners when they are maybe doing something they shouldn’t !   He stops of course and waits for me to catch him up.  “Filling station” I say He looks at me like Ive just asked him to be my get away driver from a bank robbery !   “Its that direction” I say  He replies with a nod.  On the back I get clutching my plastic 2Litre Ginger beer bottle.

 

Well its no longer rainy season but the dry season and what Ive noticed is that they attempt to fill all the ruts that have been made in the rainy season with sand so that it sort of smooths out the road

Which is all well and good if you’re walking, and even if you’re good bicycle rider on your own.  But given a novice rider with a passenger on the back ( clutching his 2Litre Plastic Ginger Beer bottle ) and it makes things very difficult. The first hint of this was when I sat on the back and the front wheel reared up like it was saying ” right lets go”  This brought wry smiles from other passing Jingas, and I wasn’t sure if it was my fault for sitting too far back or the novice Jinga cyclist for not putting down pressure on the handle bars.  Well off we set.   We made about 10 yards I would say before the bike sort of skids from side to side in the sand coming to a grinding halt. We both kept our footing but as my Jinga turned around  the look on his face sort of said ” well you get off and walk and I’ll push the bike”.  I dutifully did so. We walked about 50 yards together like this.  The thought did cross my mind that I was actually paying for walking alongside a bicycle that was meant to be giving me a lift – clever !

dav

After the 50 yards I mounted again and with a certain uncertainty we started off again , only to come to a halt some 50 yards further down the road.  The process repeated itself several times until we crossed the tarmac.  This was also done with a certain amount of trepidation as you can imagine.  Picture the scene over 100 bicycles coming along the road, both ways,  and you have to cross this road to get to the path on the other side.  In a car its difficult, on a motor bike its difficult, on a bicycle on your own its pretty difficult to judge it, but on a bicycle with a passenger on the back it take s a while to get up a head of steam, and by the time you start moving the gap you were aiming for has gone.   I was going to suggest that I got off and crossed the road on foot and met him on the other side, but as I had already walked half the distance I thought Id get my moneys worth. A couple of times his front wheel clipped passing Jingas who gave him looks which suggested ” Amateur or Novice” But eventually as we got to the other side my Jinga was heard to say in a very Malawian accent, ” Don’t worry about a thing”.  I did think he was going to burst into a Bob Marley number  but I merely responded with – “Me worried ; Nooooo” At this point he stopped, turned to me and said that we had run out of road.  What he meant was that he didn’t know the way.  So not only was I walking half the way I now how to direct him to the filling station.  Mission accomplished and now a full 2Litre plastic Ginger Beer bottle filled with petrol …… what do you mean unsafe ……… noooooo 😉

Hurriedly putting the petrol into the bike as by this time I WAS LATE  – I know thats difficult to uinderstand of me but occasionally it happens !  Bike starts beautifully once it has petrol.

Now the sharp eyed amongst you will have noticed that on my motor bike there are two stands for two wing mirrors but only one wing mirror.  This is because when the dirt tracks and myself meet, the wing mirror is one of the first things to get damaged.  And to only have one wing mirror is a disadvantage to say the least, particularly when passing goats and cows who suddenlt decide to change direction.  The cost of a wing mirror in Malawi is 30,000 Kwacha ( or so my guard told me – hmmmmm)  which is approximately £30, thats because you cant buy one.  Well not wishing to spend that I sourced some Malawian Super Glue which is said would hold 3 ton !  Should do the trick nicely, spending all evening gluing the mirror back on.  Success, in the morning I checked and it seemed to have done the trick. So Bike full of petrol, two wing mirrors  – sorted

After about 10 minutes the wing mirror falls off ! Clearly Malawian Super glue is not that super and may not even be glue ! The rest of the day is mono-mirror and to be honest the rest of my time in Malawi ! But it does make a great Helmet stand though

Then after a few minutes came across this scene which I have now learned to my cost that you take seriously.  What has happened is a bag of grain has fallen off either a wagon or a Njinga ( and you now know how to say it ) and spilt across the road.  The first time I saw it, I wasn’t sure what to do so just drove careful through it – followed by a crowd of irate Malawians chasing after me !   I thought that they would just dispose of it but of course they don’t  All the traffic stops and everyone lends a hand to sweep up the grain and re bag it – Nothing is ever thrown away in Malawi – the ultimate recycling – use and re-use and re-use and re-use.  What you dont do is drive through it   You just wait until every grain is swept up and I mean every grain !

So not the best start to my return, with baggage, no car, delay in arriving in Mangochi, no petrol,  no wing mirror and late ! but undeterred I carry on to visit my first school.  And that is actually, as the say,  where the day turns around.  I walk in though the door of the Learning Centre and see 30 Learners so intent on their work on their iPads that they dont look up, ( well a few might !) they just carry on with what they are doing.

 

The teacher just quietly walking amongst them, supporting here and there. A scene of absolute focussed on-task learning. Ofsted “Outstanding” !  Ouch did I really say that word!  You may ask what are the curtains for – i’s a school initiative and I’ll let you guess – tell you in the next blog – hehe

 

You may say well thats exactly how it should be, but this is a million miles away from a typical Malawian classroom of 250 Standard 2 Learners ( 7 year olds in general but some or even many are not !) with a teacher teaching at the front or even sitting at the front. And in many circumstances in their classroom which is a tree

 

 

 

And to cap the day off as I drive into my compound these three cheeky girls say the usual Malawian expression -“Hi How are you/ Very Well thank you ! ”  and

I nearly fall off my bike laughing

I have briefly mentioned in a previous blog the sort of things that I’m involved in while in Malawi, but I feel its worth a separate blog, Head Teacher training, Teacher training, setting up Learning Centres, Supporting the use of Learning Centres,  Inspector training and PEA training – what’s a PEA I hear you ask, well it doesn’t come in a pod ! .  And with less than 2 weeks before departing back to the UK and boring everyone with my exploits ( free bookings taken for schools of course ! – seriously) thats I challenge that I will accept

Weaving with magic and through loam

Some days are good and some days are ………….. even betterer ! There you go you weren’t expecting that were you but its true  Despite what is thrown at you and Im not talking  literally although on occasions that does happen, there is always the bright side by thinking it just has to get better ! !

Two things happened recently that are poles apart but just struck me as amazing events.  Although one of them at the time didn’t seem amazing !

Apologies if Ive mentioned it before but its the Rainy season –

“Mention it before ??? You never flippin’ stop talking about it !!!!” I hear you say.

But honestly it is a really important part of life and the calendar out here. It is as they say “No Rain; No Life” Well despite it being the rainy season, it is still very sunny and hot on many days. Very few days are overcast all day. But as Ive said before when it rains, it rains ! You already know that I have two modes of transport, well three really if you count walking, but that aside, I ride a Trials motorbike as well as driving a car. Most people say now that the rainy season has come just use the car! It’s what it’s for ! Those of you who know me well enough –  ………”It’ll be fine”  ………..”No problem” ……….”If its sunny in the morning it’ll be fine” If it’s raining I’ll use the car.”

I never thought Id say this but actually I prefer riding the motorbike.  The scenery somehow is enhanced, the tracks, bumps, ridges, boulders are certainly easier to negotiate and there is something really pleasing at riding through the amazing African countryside, waving at the locals while they smile back at you or even just stare in absolute wonderment as this crazy guy goes through their village

 

 

“Didnt he come through here yesterday?”  “I think he did!”  “I wonder where he’s going ?”    ” I dont know but it’s a dead end so he’ll be back soon !” ( roughly translated from the Chichewa )  – anyway I like it !

 

 

So on this lovely sunny morning i flung open my bedroom windows and the sun is blazing down, not a cloud in the sky I could almost hear them singing “Who will buy this wonderful morning? ………etc” So I gather my jacket, helmet and gloves. Pack my little ‘over the shoulder bag’ with my laptop, camera, phone and ipads and off I set. I tend to always take my laptop with me wherever I go as its the one thing that if I lost it, I would literally cry ! So I always think best to take it with me and then I’ll not lose it ………………. except for the time when I left my ‘over the shoulder bag’ with all its belongings at the place where I eat, and only realised 2 hours later when I got home – but thats another story ! Opened the gate, kick started the bike and away i went  “… on this wonderful morning, and tying it up in a ribbon, knives grinding, selling milk…… the whole song ! ” … singing away to myself ! ” I was off to visit not exactly my furthest school away from where I live, but its about 50 km on the tarmac and another 35 km on the dirt-track. And there is some absolutely stunning scenery and everything looks so rich and fertile. The Maize is growing much taller, and the tobacco leaves are enormous, potatoes, beans and many I just don’t know the names of. Although there is quite a worry at the moment in Malawi that there just hasn’t been enough rain and it looks like it will be a bad year, which literally will mean a very tough time ahead for many Malawians, so fingers crossed the rains return ………. but not today thanks. 😉

I arrive at the school just as the Learners were entering the Learning Centre ( which is what we call the room where they use the iPads)  Their first job is to wash their hands. The bucket is filled of course from the local water pump.  Note one of the classrooms in the background. When they have washed their hands they enter the resource room generally taking any footwear off – if they have any on – place their plastic bags which contain their small exercise books just inside the entrance. They collect their headphones and sit down on the mats waiting extremely patiently for the teacher to give the next set of instructions.

And this is the point that it doesn’t matter where you are in the world, or how many children/learners are in your class, or even how old the learners are, a great teacher is a great teacher.  And it’s always a really pleasure to see someone who works their craft to great advantage. With very little instruction and a gentle voice he tells the learners to pass the iPads to their partners  and get ready to work on the iPads. Like anyone who is skilled within their area of expertise, it looks so easy, and very soon within a space of a few seconds, all the learners are intent on focussing on their own ipad. The logon for each of them is via selecting a photo of their face.  This isn’t always as easy as it would appear, as many of them don’t see their image very often, no mirrors or cameras.  I then of course try to assist by saying in a typically English slow way  “Is …. that ….. you ?” which only confuses them even more –

“Not only am I working on something which is not part of my normal life or schooling but this very strange person comes up to me speaking a language which I really dont understand and he’s pointing to a picture and then to my face – well what would you do ????

They just look at me in total bewilderment!   At the start it’s often their partner who says – ” Yes that’s him/her !” but they do slowly begin to recognise themselves the more they do it.

And there they sit in absolute silence working their way through their individualised App, while the teacher walks amongst them checking that they can all understand what they are doing. I just sit and watch and like watching a football match want to jump up and shout ……. “Thats brilliant !” ….. “Thats exactly what all teachers should be doing” …….  “Great support !” ……”Go on do it again ! …….. But I don’t!  …….I just sit there in awe,  watching a true artist practicing their craft and in the words of a good friend of mine “watching him weave his magic !”

 

The magic spell suddenly broken by the sound that I’ve come to recognise instantly of very heavy rain on a tin roof ! …………. ……. bike !   It’ll pass ! ……..It doesnt ! ………For the rest of the lesson I’m observing but not watching, all I’m doing is listening to the pitter patter or should i say drumming on the roof of what can only be described as extremely heavy rainfall !

At the end of the lesson, it’s time for me to make the trek home. Remembering my last experience of soaked mobile phones I ask the teacher if she has a plastic bag that I can put my mobile in to keep it dry – she hasnt but she ‘borrows’ one of one of the learners plastic bags and promises to pay them back ! I wrap my mobile carefully into my bag and then realise in my haste to get out this morning forgot to put my heavy jeans on which is recommended when travelling on a bike ! I had my light trousers on !

“I’ll be fine!” It’ll be ok !” My mobiles in a plastic bag what could possibly go wrong ?”

 

So off i set on my bike in what can only be described as one of the heaviest downpours known this Rainy season ! As I was riding along I was thinking of all the most difficult parts of the ride, the worse rocks part,the very steep hill going uphill, the very steep hill going downhill, the extremely muddy part,  so much so that I wasnt even thinking of getting wet.  I was mentally ticking off in my head each one of the tricky parts like playing a game (Photo not taken during the rain – Im not stupid !) ……..but this was the route I was riding

 

 

I was so pleased with my self for manoeuvring my way past all the obstacles.  Most of the track is loam soil which is composed mostly of sand , silt , and a smaller amount of clay, (I looked that up !) which when dry is great…………… but when mixed with water and the wheels of a motorbike become like a skating rink as the tyres try and get a grip.  So Im managing to counter manoeuvre every slide and slip, not only avoiding rocks but also extremely high density loam parts. My back wheel doing amazingly well as I zig zag my way along the track.  My mind starts to say you’ve done all the difficult bits only a few kilometres to the tarmac. ……………….. and then i sort of hit the highest density of loam that I had ever seen. I can only describe it as if it was in slow motion! It must have been over inseconds but it seemed like minutes ……..Literally with every slide of the back wheel I thought to myself Ive got this, and it slid to the right ……..I’ve got this,,, to the left……I have Ive managed it   left …. right …….bang ! and i hadnt got it.   Looking back now I have no idea why I just didnt ease off the throttle and come to a halt, but I didn’t Im pretty sure I was still pushing the throttle and like an ice skater going from side to side, increasing in speed.   The ground very quickly came up to meet me.  …….. And there I was lying on the ground, absolutely caked in a light brown soil all over me, my jacket, my shirt , my bag, my helmet, my bike, my light trousers even ! I landed on my bag …….. First thought of course wasnt have I broken any bones but ……. LAPTOP !.   But its pouring with rain so i just got up and trusted all was well with both body and technology !!! not necessarily in that order !

I managed to get my bike up again and started, which is always a main dread that it wont start. I got back on feeling a few bumps and bruises, which I wont go into but it still aches now !! I was due to go to another school but as I looked like the Incredible Hulk ( although he was green wasnt he ? but you get the idea!) caked in a muddy brown soil I decided to go straight back home.  As I rode home, of course to everyone I passed it was obvious I had come off due to the state of my clothing.  Normally you get a lot of stares as you go past anyone and on this occasion these were intensified and generally came with muffled laughter !

No bones broken ( I hope) and despite coming off I will always remember those few split secondsI of absolute fear and the sensation of ‘I can do this, I can,,,,,,, I can,,,,,, I can – oops’ which seemed to last for ages !!!!

I have now said that I wont use my bike again until the Rainy season is over – definitely not ……..I’m not going to ride it ….. although as a fellow Volunteer said to me –     “Yeah Yeah well not until the next time at least !

It’s just weather forecasts aren’t what they used to be ! …… but I guess the next time i hear “Who will buy this wonderful morning? ………. ” .. keep it …..

…….I’ll take the car !

 

and obviously Laptop was fine otherwise you wouldnt be reading this !

Well it is the Rainy Season !

Where do I start – since the last lot of jumbled thoughts and generally random events were reported we’ve had Christmas, New Year and now January is almost over.  Well many of you will know that I whimped out spending the holiday here and went back home to see family and friends. As I suspected I didn’t do a quarter of what I wanted to do or see everyone that i really wanted to see but as it says on a book that someone very kindly gave me – and those who know me well know that I like my sayings –

 

S o it was absolutely fantastic to see my brilliant family and a number of great friends. Ill catch the rest of you when I return – that is if you’ve remembered who I am !  Thanks to everyone for giving me a brilliant break. Loved every minute of it – except for the weather that is I mean who’d have thought you’d have rain and snow in December and January – huh ! But now its back to Sun, rain and temperatures that average 34 degrees Im not complaining – well I am really but more about that later haha and sitting in my little Garrett   (or was that the name of Billy The Kid or the Sheriff that caught him? ) its late at night but its still flipping hot – can’t open the windows otherwise be surrounded by even more mosquitoes Still can’t complain – well i am really ……. oops already said that !

So back to Malawi, and Mangochi in particular. Evening flight from Heathrow to Nairobi, change at Nairobi – and please remember this as its relevant later on ! ……Catch a flight from Nairobi, and land at Nampula airfield in Mozambique – not scheduled but hey I’m not comp …………. ……….Land in Lilongwe Airport in Malawi mid afternoon.  Get off the plane to the heat etc along with all the other passengers.  Feel really pleased with myself as I can now walk through the Malawi residents gate – well when I say gate its more like two tables pushed apart – as I now have my residents permit. This also saves me $75 entrance fee into Malawi. Feeling pleased with myself arrived back without too many mishaps, I proceed to the Baggage collection travellator (?) along with all the other passengers.  The obligatory solitary brightly coloured bag is going round the travellator. Clearly fast on the mark these baggage handlers  – first bag off – brightly coloured bag !

We all watch it go round ………and ……. round ……….and ………..round …………..and …………..round – no other bags decide to join it – ……….none – ………not a one ! By this time after a good 30 minutes of waiting …….Im tempted to pick up the brightly coloured bag and pretend its mine ! There are some pretty irate Malawians and other African Nationalities and various Nationalities from all around the world all  expressing their views and opinions. A single Malawian official then walks very slowly to behind a desk – they never run ! and he is besieged by irate passengers – I of course take  the typically English approach and stand at the back of the queue – although when i say queue thats a very generic expression for a pack of baying hounds ! Thinking aw well – never mind – Im sure the bags will turn up one day ! After much shouting, form filling in and general chaos we are told that whilst we changed planes in Nairobi our bags did not ! They are all still in Nairobi – Picture the scene … well I’ll let your imagination do that suffice to say Im at the back, smiling,  last to fill my form in, describing my bag and on leaving the poor beleagured official say – “Thank You” in a very English way ! Bags turned up 3 days later ! And for information the brightly coloured bag is still probably going round as no one picked it up!

Anyway starting back – very much back in with a bang – trying to visit all the schools that Im responsible for which when I arrived was 5 and now has grown to 17 and when they are 100s of Kilometres apart thats no mean feat.  I haven’t got round them all yet.  My focus for the first few weeks is on the schools that are using the iPads and the OneBillion app for Maths and Chichewa. With the holidays and the lead up to holidays and the coming back from holidays it takes some schools a while to get back into their stride – as indeed it does in the UK as well – never mine of course but thats another story ! .  Here it also takes a while for the Learners to return to school and out in the remote rural areas in which I work it takes the first two weeks for the learners to return and even then some just don’t come back at all. Quite sad really.    But off I start all refreshed to re-energise my schools. As its been a while since Ive been on my motor bike – no contest – who needs a car when theres the open road (track) ……. I don my summer leather jacket, summer gloves, jeans and helmet  …….. and all kitted up I jump onto the bike and roar off into the remotest part of Malawi.

 

Up over the mountain looking at the amazing views that were once all a very dry brown now a very luscious green due to the “Rains”, ….. along narrow paths that were once much wider but now seemed to have narrowed due to the “Rains”  Feeling the wind against me, back in the saddle again (Name that tune ! hehe) I approach a police road block, of which there are many along all routes. These generally consist of two metal bars across the road balanced on 3 metal oil drums. Or alternatively there are just traffic cones instead of the bars and three or four policeman tucked away somewhere. I know this Police Road block fairly well as travel through it almost every day, on fairly good terms with the police who man it, so that by now I just generally wave and squeeze through a very narrow gap between a rock and the first oil drum, which means that the police don’t have to come and lift the barrier.  I have become quite expert now at being able to wave with one hand and manoeuvre the bike between the rock and the drum. ……… Pride comes before ……………   Waving away I pass by the rock and the drum, well thats what I meant to do but Im sure someone must have moved the rock closer to the drum because on this occasion I hit the rock. Keeping my balance, and feeling incredibly pleased with myself – as Evil Kenevil (?)  does it again to the roar of the crowd I ride on only to feel the bike become slightly wobbly, and then even more wobbly. I look down and my front tyre is almost flat – a puncture !   It was at this moment that the “Rains” decided that today was the day!

In the middle of a huge deluge I just managed to limp to the nearest Trading Centre to ask a group of men on the side of the road if they knew anyone that could help. This is Malawi so of course they did – and even if they didn’t they would say they did anyway !

They took me to a sort of straw lean to,  that underneath had a number of men sheltering from the rain. Out of this group of men appeared an elderly gentleman followed by 3 or 4 others who then proceeded to take my bike off me, wheel it under the shelter, took my helmet and instructed me to sit down on the bench surrounded by a group of people while they mended my puncture.  I sat and watched while the amazing craftsmanship of these people just took out the inner tube revealing  a 2 cm hole in the tube and a valve which had completely ripped out …….. and they just mended it ! No sucking of teeth; no shaking the head; no “Oooooh this is going to cost you guv!” They just did it ! …… Brilliant……… I was charged the princely sum of 2,000 Kwacha roughly £2. They all smiled and wished me a safe journey. I was absolutely amazed by their skill and I have to say it just echoed the view that Malawi has some of the friendliest people on this planet.

 

The rains had abated so I thought …. why not I’ll carry on to my schools only another 50 or 60 Km to go.

Well this is as I said before the rainy season – after 2 minutes it started to throw it down again, and this time it didn’t stop it kept on all day.  Undeterred i carried on, ….. and on … and on in my summer jacket. gloves and jeans. For those who know me once Id decided to carry on I wasn’t going to let a little rain stop me. ………………. Foolish !! At my age you’d think I’d learn ! But no …… Carry on I did…….

After about 40 Km, every part of me was soaked through. I did not have a dry part of my body at all. I found out that summer Motor Bike jackets are not waterproof, nor gloves, nor jeans, nor anything else that I was wearing. Do I turn back or carry on …. it was still pouring with rain and by now not only was I wet but starting to get very cold – probably for the first time in Malawi – my fingers started to turn blue ….  about 5 km from the first school, I decided that it probably didn’t look very good to turn up a wet shivering specimen coming to tell them what they should be doing with their iPads, and to be honest at this stage iPads was not at the forefront of my mind – It was survival !!!! I turned round in the middle of the road and headed home – and for the whole 80 Km it didn’t stop raining ! And if ever you’ve been on a Motor Bike in the pouring and I mean pouring rain you’ll appreciate how cheerful you need to be !!!!!

Pictures are my attempt to show the rain when I got home  – I failed dismally but you get the gist

 

When at last at home I of course struggled to open the locks due to my fingers being so cold and as already mentioned the locals usually stand and stare just out of curiosity; on this occasion despite the rain I think they must have all called their mates – “Hey come and have a look at this Masungu trying to get into his gate – its really funny !!!!  They watched as I attempted to open the locks with fingers that now had no feeling in whatsoever and were slowly going to sleep one by one

Once in,  I emptied my pockets of water and the rest of the contents, two of which were my 2 mobile phones. I had forgotten that they were in my pocket and had effectively been swimming in water for the last 2 hours – needless to say ……….. and despite the old bag of rice trick ………what I call my english iphone i.e. my english number and contacts etc has refused to work.  So if you haven’t heard from me for a while thats why !!!! My Malawian number still works for Whatsapp etc    All other usual communication channels are working – I think – but you can always leave a message /comment on here.

So now I take a good look at the sky before deciding which mode of transport to use.

When I relayed this story to my Malawian friends – response …………..

WELL IT IS THE RAINY SEASON – DOH!

(didn’t know they watched the Simpsons )

 

Get on ‘yer’ bike ……….

It’s all about the bike – Before I go to take up the Educational Specialist post in Mangochi I of course have to have transport.  As I’ve already mentioned this means learning to ride a motor bike. A long time ago, before the BCT training ( i.e. having to pass initial training before going out onto the roads – yes I’m that old !) .) I rode a motor bike to a school.  Quite badly I might add – who can forget the wheelie (is that how you spell it ?)  down the drive towards the garage door !    As those of you who are keen (or daft )  enough to have read the previous blogs will know I passed the figure of 8 in the car park and was allowed to venture out onto the roads of Blackburn.  Well something very similar happens in Malawi except ………………………. its zig-zags around very closely spaced 10 cones. I’m sure they were further apart in England !    At the beginning of the week I managed to kill 9 of the 10 cones, but after much swearings and repetitive shouts of  “Come on I can do this !!! ” at the end of the week I was judged to be safe to ride on the roads of Malawi.  When I say roads I of course mean roads and …….. dirt tracks. Fortunately they drive on the same side of the road.  So off I went following the instructor through the roads of the capital city of Malawi. That’s where the similarities between Blackburn and Lilongwe stop.

 

During the ride you encounter;  an inordinate number of pedestrians who really believe that roads are for people on foot;   Mini-buses rammed full with people ( the popular form of transport in Malawi, similar to our buses but nothing like !  ) who never show any signs of pulling away, turning left or turning right……… in fact no indications whatsoever, except to yell out of the window at fellow road users; a great number of cyclists who compete for the roads and side ways with the pedestrians, a few goats who randomly cross the road, dogs who usually just cross the road with no thought of the Highway Code and of course cars and motor bikes!

Well I managed to successfully manoeuvre my way through these roads and was beginning to become quite confident when we turned down a track that even if I was on foot I would consider fairly difficult to walk down.  …………….. managing to avoid large ridges that go along the road, humps that go across the road , holes that appear from nowhere, slopes that disappear into large ditches and all on extremely dusty, sand like surfaces…………. and of course the goats, people, children and the whole world going along this track at exactly the same time as me !   Just about managing to weave my way through these challenges bringing back memories of going to Motor Bike scramble events at Hawkstone Park – here I was the ‘Lampkin’   ( how on earth do I remember his name I was 14 the last time I went to a scramble event !! )  of the Malawian dirt tracks  ……..

With my bike wheel sliding sideways I was just starting to feel relaxed when the track began to narrow as it entered a homestead of several houses and lots of people, children, dogs – you get the picture.  The track really narrowed when as I lifted my head up I saw not 30 yards ahead of me what must have been the biggest fully ladened truck in the world and it was, like me,   trying to manoeuvre its way along the ruts, ridges and holes ………….. coming towards me and occupying exactly the same carefully thought out line of avoiding the ridges ruts and holes etc ! ………….  In no time at all I was on the narrowest part of the track at exactly the same time as the extremely large truck.  At this point I did what all motor cyclists people do when they think – Oh My Goodness ! …………. ( well I did anyway ) I leaned as far as i dare to the left,  the truck being on my left  ……. and yes you’ve guessed it …. closed my eyes !!!!!! I know you shouldn’t but I guess it was a reflex reaction.  Waiting to hear a noise of my wing mirror being ripped off  I opened my eyes and somehow, and I’ll never know quite  how but the truck had gone past me and I was carrying on up the track. …………..  They say Four wheels move the body and Two wheels move the soul – well I have to say it was more than my soul that moved !

With my back wheel sliding sideways from left to right and even occasionally in a straight line when the ridges in the track allowed I managed to complete the ride without any further incidents.  Arriving back at the yard, the instructor took his helmet off and asked – “Well how do you feel?  What do you think ? ” ……………… “Yes fine thanks !!!!!!!  Enjoyed it !!!!! ”    I left my helmet on so he couldn’t quite see how ashen faced I was

“We’ve just got the 200Km ride to do and some more dirt track rides then we’re done ! See you Monday”

……………………………… “Oh great I shall look forward to that   !!”

Lessons learned ……..

Still on my In-country Orientation ( or commonly known as “they cant find a house for me !” )  Well that’s not quite true but more about that later.

Heard at the beginning of this week that I just needed 5 sessions on the motor bike before I’m let out onto the Malawian roads – apparently this is a good thing – not me being on the Malawian roads which quite frankly terrifies me, but the fact I only have to do 5 sessions of training as opposed to 15 sessions.  Not sure when they begin but hopefully this week as I clearly need the motor bike when Im in Mangochi.  Presumably I cant go until Im judged to be a safe motor cyclist on roads that are busy to say the least and manic at the worst. Can’t wait !  And of course can’t go yet as havent found a house yet, but that was last week’s adventure.

“We’re off to Mangochi to find a house !”   Great …….. and off we set.  The roads in Malawi. particularly in towns and cities are fairly crowded,but as you get out into the country they are very straight, the traffic eases up but there are always people walking along the sides of the road and every so often there is a police road block and or a speed camera !  Well we stopped at a road block and speed camera and I thought it was a very interesting thing as it was the first time that I had encountered it and in hind sight, well ………. probably not a good idea …… but …….. thought to record events that happened I lifted my camera up to take a photo …………………WRONG decision.   It was not warmly received.  In no uncertain terms I was told to get out of the car, and suddenly was taken back to my school days when standing in front of the head teacher for not wearing my cap to school………….Sorry sir, I didn’t know, Im sorry, It wont happen again, so sorry, I’m new here, I didn’t understand,  etc etc.. That made no difference in my school days and I received the obligatory slipper ! but I thought Id give it a go and fortunately it worked this time.  I was severely told off.  He demanded to see all the photographs and fortunately I hadn’t actually clicked the button so there wasn’t a photo  … It was very much a one way conversation and series of questions which didn’t really expect an answer  except for repetitive “sorry, sorry” Told in no uncertain terms to get back into the car and we were on our way ! Lesson learned !

Looking for houses in Mangochi was a fascinating experience.  It wasn’t an Estate Agent experience more like finding a person, who knew a person who had an uncle who knew someone’s brother  whose cousin was letting a house but it may not be built yet.  Fortunately I had two brilliant people with me who just seemed to know everyone in Mangochi although they’d never met them before !

The morning of the visit gave me my first view  of probably one of the most important geographical landmarks of the country, Lake Malawi.  Apparently the lake has more species of fish than any other lake certainly in Africa if not the world    I was introduced here to what is apparently the best tasting fish you can have – Chambo – so obviously i had to try it A really beautiful lake, that early in the morning had the fishermen collecting their nets and placing their fish in containers ready to sell them  As well as the washing of clothes by the ladies at the waters edge.  The beach at the lake was just a hive of activity.  A fantastic scene to witness and one which I guess I will become used to but seeing it for the first time it just made you stand and take it all in .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                   And then of course the ladies carry their washing home – just amazing

Ready to search for the house we ventured into Mangochi which was just teeming with people, bikes, stalls, sellers, goats, stores    Such a busy place .  With mainly a tarmaced road ( no kerbs of course so its just a raised piece of road) with a few crossroads and then as you turn down these the tarmac gives way to dirt roads, bumps, ridges and all sorts of holes to catch out the uninitiated visitor.  We venture down one such road, with 2 additional passengers, a lady and her nephew, who are our guides to find this house. We arrive outside a house that is surrounded by the wall and security gate.  Looking around the house it looks good and very spacious but sadly it isn’t finished yet, and the builders are still inside it. Interestingly they live inside the house while they build it, their personal mosquito nets are carefully positioned in some of the rooms.  They say it will be finished in 2 weeks.  The plastering needed doing, utilities had to be put in and windows.  It would be very handy if I want to hone up my soccer skills as the football pitch is right in front of the gates.  We wait outside while we try to contact the owner to discuss the cost but sadly she wasn’t availableIt –  definitely looked a good prospect but whether it would be ready for me is another question  We will have to wait and see.    Whilst waiting we buy some small orange fruit ‘things’ for which there isnt an equivalent in English.

 

On to another and another.  Stop off to ask another man who has a friend who has a cousin who might know someone.  This meeting took place right by the Lake, and I was told that if while I was in Mangochi then this would be the place to come and swim. Just come and ask for the owner of these lodges.  I thanked him and thought what a great idea – ………… “Oh but you will just have to mind the crocodiles ‘cos this is where they come ! ”   …………… ” oh ok thanks for that I’ll think about it and let you know ! ”

We venture down what does appear to be a footpath around a very tight corner…………… we drive down the very narrow footpath – eyes closed ( mine I hasten to add not the driver thankfully ! )

At this house I had to stay in the car as we were told that as soon as they saw me, being a different colour to everyone else, the price of the rental would at least double if not treble.  Again I was taken back in my memory when as a child my mother and father, as a rare Sunday treat, went to a country pub.  I dutifully stayed in the car with my lemonade and packet of crisps for an hour or so and waited for their return.

So I sat in the car, ate my orange and I observed the discussion outside the gate and then they went inside the compound to reappear again 10 minutes later. This apparently looked a really good house, which unfortunately they couldn’t go inside as the owner was away but from the outside it looked really good.  So fingers crossed.   We then drove the long journey back to Lilongwe – quite how Im going to do this journey on my motor bike I’m not quite sure.  It goes right through the mountains, a very twisty and steep road where there used to be barriers on the side of the most dangerous bits but these have ‘disappeared’!  But I’m sure after 5 sessions I’ll be raring to go – mmmmmm …do you really think so ? ?

To add to the excitement of the week, those of you who know me, know I can last without food, without comforts etc but I really cant do without music.  Being all prepared I downloaded almost my whole collection of CDs, records ( or as they call it now Vinyls – you young people – huh  ! ) and made sure I had Spotify on every device, though without the Internet not sure how that will work but we will see.  Two days in my Bluetooth speaker, JBL Flip 3, (for those of you who are interested and you’re probably not but I just thought that if someone from JBL sees this they might feel sorry for me and send me a new one ! ) that has worked beautifully for the last year, suddenly decided to just pack in.  Buttons refused to work.  What do you do in situations like this besides for smashing it against the wall and shouting – a’ la John Cleese fashion – “You ********* worked for me in ****** England Why do you ****** wait until now to pack in  ?   I’m going to thrash you within an inch of your life ”  But instead turn to Youtube and some guy in the States had exactly the same problem and without going into detail, as you’ve probably already dropped off to sleep, I managed to get it kind of working, though not as it should !!!  So sanity is restored and the hills are alive again !   Note to JBL I can give you my forwarding address at any time ! And if it stops again. can anyone recommend any good books to read ………………

To round off the week I went with a fellow Volunteer to undergo my first visit to schools.  The whole reason why I’m out here – and wow I was just blown away.  The children were so so well behaved.  I just stood and watched as these  6 year olds walked into the Learning centre ( 30 children out of a class of 150) They sat on the rush mats and waited beautifully.  They passed the iPads along the line of 4, received their headphones, logged onto their group and found their names.  Without any further fuss they proceeded to work their way through the tasks on the iPads.  Hardly a word was spoken and certainly not by the children.

 

The smiles were enormous when they completed a task and if they got something wrong there was no question of asking for help, they just sat there and tried to work it out for themselves, and repeated it until they got it right or the program moved them on.  At the end of session they closed the iPads, took off their headphones and just moved silently out of the class.

 

These children were  6 years of age  and many had very very poor literacy and numeracy skills, if any.  To watch them working within this environment was just amazing.  Definitely some lessons to be learned by others I think 

 

 

My first introduction to schools and I cant wait to go into my own group of schools.

 

And then to round off a brilliant morning I watched as some of the children performed in front of the school.  I was invited to sit and watch.  And it was a role reversal  as the teachers took pictures of me just sitting there watching the festivities   It was a fantastic experience. This is Malawi

One week in ……… well almost!

Well, been in Malawi now for almost 1 week – only another 51 weeks to go – doesn’t time fly when you’re enjoying yourself!  That sounds negative and I don’t mean it to be at all but actually when you say you’re going somewhere for a year it sounds a very long time but with only 51 weeks to go somehow it seems different.

This week has been all about ‘In-country orientation’ to use the correct terminology ( actually it’s probably not but I’ve lost count of the number of new phrases I’ve had to learn – and that’s just in English – Liquidation  – basically when you ask for money that you may need or alternatively claim money back, or hand in receipts for food bought, but you need a pritt stick (forgot to pack mine !)  and a piece of paper and an amazing capacity to keep every single receipt – simples ! So in the midst of trying to learnEnglish I’ve also had to begin ( and the emphasis is on begin !) to  learn Chichewa – Zikomo (thank you) and Moni (Hello) and Muli Bwanji? ( How are you?) Trouble is with the last one they tend to reply with something that I haven’t got a clue.  So I fall back on my usual Language trick of nodding and smiling and uttering the occasional sound which agrees with what they say.  Well it always worked for me in France that is except when we got a plate of uncooked meats and cheeses and I thought I’d ordered 5 omelettes ! So meal times are still interesting.

The staple diet is either chicken (in all forms) and Nsima.   This is cooked, ground white maize flour that is used as the stodge ( and I mean that in the nicest way) for the majority of malawian meals.  Eaten with your fingers this was my introduction to Malawian food. But to eat it you have to wash your hands first.  I walked over to the sink and turned the tap on but no water.  Fortunately my ‘minder’ while I’m country orientating was with me and asked them to turn on the water. Apparently it is turned off to save for when there is a problem with water supply.  As I don’t have a big appetite I only managed one Nsima. As people had previously told me it has no taste at all but is very filling. So filling that I haven’t eaten another one – yet !

My home for the next few days is  the Country Office in the guest house. I’m staying here until accommodation can be found for me in Mangochi.  I guess at the moment I’m very lucky as I do have a fairly secure wifi access something I won’t have when I go ‘into the country .  We  have guards on the gates and it does take some getting used to them letting you out and then knocking on the

gate when you come back, even when you’ve just popped

out for a yoghurt ! ( not that I used to eat yoghurt but you get the gist  …………..and I do now! ……..)

You do feel like saying ‘ it’s ok I’m only popping out for a few minutes, just going round the corner I won’t be long – leave it open !!! but of course you can’t and on return – knock 3 times ( another cue for a song !) and the guard opens the gate – as I walk past the guard  ‘Zikomo’

( see even you’ve learnt the language now ! )

As well as meetings on Finance, I have meetings on Safety and security, naturally,  which was really helpful – what to do if …………… ( I just hope I can remember it when “if ‘ does happen or even if  ‘if’  happens – what?)

For my VSO Card I had to go and have a passport photo taken – No sitting in a booth, feeding your money into a machine and click its done – in Malawi you get the personal touch.  A lovely photo shop with a pulled curtain and a chair at the far end of the room.  A gentleman with a camera appears and takes your photo – telling me head to the left, no thats too much, not enough – ( I really couldn’t do a photo shoot. ) And then hey presto in a few minutes you’re given your 2 Passport photos.

 

 

Visiting the market in the city was a fantastic experience.  Although as in many markets around the world the sellers really want to sell you their goods, and when I say they want to sell you their goods – they really want to sell you there goods, a simple no thank you is all that is needed and you move on to the next person who wants to see you their produce. Really lovely people . The vegetables and fruits, looked truly amazing and again everyone was extremely polite

 

As I travelled to my next part of the induction, I travel along a route off the tarmac road and into other parts.  The roads are a kind of sandy grit have a number of holes and bumps all along the route, where occasionally the bottom of the car does meet the road surface.  The shops and houses along these paths/roads are very different to the area where the Country office is , where local people and businesses are selling their wares in what we would call very impoverished conditions. It does make you stop and think very hard about people and hardships. Just driving though these areas and I’m sure there are many around the world very similar and even worse but when you think of what ‘we’ have it does make you think ! I know I’ve repeated myself but it’s worth the repetition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My journey was of course to the land of the cones ! which if you’ve read previous blogs you will know that this is devised by people who just want to create patterns with cones and make you drive around them on a two wheeled vehicle that was never made to go round cones spaced only a few metres apart.  So here we go again and according to local legend (or so I am told) if I’m ok on the bike then I will only need 5 days of training to be ready for the Malawian roads and if  I hit the cones or don’t manoeuvre in a figure of 8,  6 times successfully I’ll need 15 days !!!!!!!!!! I can’t wait ! As I write this I am awaiting to hear the full verdict and the sentence !

Just as a useless piece of information do you know if you look up to translate English into a language for Malawi it doesn’t exist !

Killed my first mosquito tonight withe ‘Executioner” – zzzzttt there it was gone – great feeling of triumph but still trying to suss out how to get into bed once the mosquito net is tucked in.

And here we go …………

As I sit here in Johannesburg airport waiting for my final flight, I look back on the last 2 weeks and just go – WOW!   They really did just fly by – I am the world’s biggest Procrastinator – ( a brilliant talk on TED on Procrastination – if you haven’t seen it it’s well worth a watch ) –  “Don’t do things today when you can always do it tomorrow ! ”   The trouble with that is – I did have an end date – i.e. 26th ! and with so many things to do and so many people to see I give myself an impossible task.  There were people I didn’t actually get to see before I left. And I really did want to see them but for some reason my brain seems to work on a different time scale to  GMT !  (so my apologies ) I think I can do things when I actually don’t have the days or hours to do it!  Its the same philosophy as ‘it’ll only take 5 minutes to get there when in reality it’s a half hour drive ! I didn’t get the nickname for nothing – and those who don’t know it you will have to guess !!

A huge thanks to all those friends who wished me well, sponsored – me and VSO,   and who follow this blog. And of course to the family ensemble.      It really brings in to focus the saying that you may not see someone but you know they are there for you ( or words to that effect !)

Not only did I run out of days to see people, but the eternal question of “Have you packed yet ? ” brought the inevitable answer  – “Not yet, but there’s plenty of time. 

Have you packed yet ? Must rate alongside, in the taxi world, “Have you been busy?”  Or “What time did you start? ”   If after overcoming the Wow factor of “You’re going to Malawi – Conversation dies and you get – “Have you packed yet?”

Actually what I meant by my response was I haven’t got a clue what to take, how to take it or what I need to buy to exist for 12 months in a country that I had no real knowledge of or had visited before. A small shopping spree was called for, and what would we do without Internet shopping !  Apart from the clothing which had it’s own challenges, there were the electrical items, which could well prove to be totally useless in a country that only has 4 hours of Electricity a day, and then that’s not always guaranteed so first purchase was a  small portable Solar Panel.  I have no idea if this works as it wasn’t very sunny in the last few days so fingers crossed.  If this is the last Blog post you see – the Solar Panel didn’t work ! Mosquito net, although one should be provided, its kind of belt and braces –   ooooh that reminds me ………….. where did I put them ???     Not sure if I can survive without music so how am I going to listen to my music  ? So the iPads, iPods Laptop all go in, Head Phones, Hard drives, mobiles both locked and unlocked !   All may be totally useless but we will see.

Oh then of course like a centre piece on a table – sits the Motor Bike helmet,  In pride of place in the baggage – smack in the middle! Surrounded by clothes of all descriptions  Fortunately this was a good container for the sun tan lotions, creams and everything else that people say – “Oh you must take this tablet, that potion, !  A very useful container to keep them all together Not an easy item to pack in the Hold luggage it has to be said, but that’s where it has to go and be part of the total weight allowance of 30 kg

Carrying on this blog post I am now sitting on the South African Airways plane flying to Malawi, having genuinely interesting conversations with the nun sitting next to me and the American lady who is helping support a High school to encourage girls to attend school past the age of 11.

I have to say the journey out here has been relatively flawless – I may be speaking too soon as I’m still mid-air and obviously need to collect my bags in Lilongwe, collect and pay for my Visa, then meet someone (?) who will take me to the country office. Besides for that all 3 flights, Dubai, Johannesburg and Lilongwe have gone well.  Through the dreaded passport controls and searchers with laptops and electricals which were spread throughout my carry on bag, now sit all together as it’s easier to take them out in one go.

I was slightly confused in Johannesburg when arriving, I stopped to check my ticket.  A fatal mistake as when I looked up everyone else had gone, no others to follow ! Walking down airport corridors totally on your own is very scary  With no real idea of where you are going you just keep walking and hope for the best.  Come to the sign Connecting flights ! Well thats me, so you dutifully follow

but in the back of your mind you also read the sign that says “Collect your bags for connecting flights”, but you remember the lady at check in in Manchester saying your bags went all the way on the journey, so you ignore the signs and cross your fingers while you’re walking.  Still totally on your own you see the sign Connecting flights – International and Connecting flights Domestic ! Decision time – based on lack of geographical knowledge –  is travelling to Malawi from Johannesburg, international or domestic – Snap decision as no-one else to follow ! Domestic  – based on It’s in Africa and not out of Africa ( good title for a  film !) …………….. wrong ! But was directed towards the correct place after queuing for 30 mins, by a very polite Customs guy !   Again the long walk, on your own, through the detectors which I set off 4 times as I forgot I was wearing a belt !

Suffice to say caught the connecting flight and landed in Lilongwe, Malawi.  At Visa control the queues were enormous ! One desk to collect the Visa application form, another desk to stamp the Visa form, another desk to check the form and stamp, another desk to pay for the Visa, another desk to receive the receipt and stamp it, then a final desk to look at the Visa and ask all the questions which have already been answered on the form to thankfully allow me through !

Walk out into the Greeting area and tick a little box in my head as I look up and see someone standing there with a sign with my name on it !!!!!!! Love it !   I always wanted that !

Journey by car to my initial place to stay in Lilongwe.  We pass crowds on the road selling

all sorts of things, from Vegetables, to holding up live chickens by the claw, to a young boy holding a rack of mice held by their tails whichI am told are delicious – I’ll take his word for it !

First night in Malawi, I undo the Mosquito net, tuck it in and then think maybe I should have got in first !! I’ll work that one out in the days ahead !!!!!!!