Tag: Friends

Warning – this post will contain elements of self-pity, memory-loss and – forgot what I was going to say !

Apologies from the outset as I wrote this a few months back and forgot to click the ‘Publish’ button!  What can I say !!!!!  Old age comes to us all !!!

It’s now almost 10 months since I last posted a blog. That could be for a number of reasons:-

  1. Old age –  Forgotten passwords, how to use the blog, why am I writing, what am I writing and even why did I come into this room !

0r

2.     Nothing momentous or exciting has happened in the last 11 months!

or

3.        Why would anyome want to read it in the first place ?

and lastly –

4.   I’ve run so many races/runs that I just haven’t had time to put pen to paper or (to be down their with the kids !) fingers to keys. – they probably don’t say that but hey !

So why am I writing it now, I hear you shout –  !

Well – and this is the self pity bit – I haven’t run now for almost 3 weeks.  Now that may not seem a long time but to me it seems like years.  In fact so much so I had to go back 3 times to my calendar to actually sit there and count the days.  It has seemed like an eternity ! Now I realise this is pathetic and “Just get over yerself !” I hear you shout again ! But it has seemed like ages ago that I ran.  I also realise that my little “Knee problem” is absolutely nothing compared to what others ( those in particular that Im trying to raise money for !) are going through, so my apologies for whinging !! So I feel a need for a recap and what has brought me to this self-pitying stage !

My aim was to run 1 or 2 races every month leading up to London Marathon 2024.  Well I did ! And if I went through each of the runs step by step; and that’s an awful lot of steps; all of you particularly me would have fallen asleep ( must be the old age !) and this blog would make the Guinness Book of Records for being the longest boring blog on record. Currently up there in the top ten !   So not only am I going to be self-pitying, and Ill get to that bit later but Im going to be self-indulgent and just highlight some of the highlights – as they say a ‘dump’ .  How cool am I ?

Take for example the Great North Run in  September 2023.  The downside of this run is that you are told to be in your ‘pen’ at the same time as everyone else regardless of your start time !  This means that you are standing around for almost 2 hours before the run.  The positive side is you can bore everyone around you all about your reason for running, how many runs you’ve already completed and in general your life history since you first went to Nursery school! My thanks to the two lovely people, (you know who you area although you probably don’t read this !)  who I was next to during these 2 hours who listened and nodded in all the right moments. My grateful thanks for putting up with my mutterings    They must have felt pity for me – looking at my ageing years and thought, “This guy is not going to last the full distance!”  One of them even told me afterwards that as she went zooming past me I didn’t say hello, as I thought it may  put you off !!

But I did finish and then encountered the biggest downpour Gateshead has ever seen !!  So heavy that trams stopped, busses stopped and the ferry stopped !  75,000 runners and probably an equal amount of spectators all trapped in Gateshead !

 

 

Took me longer in the queue for the ferry
than it did to run half a marathon – Will I do it again this year ????   Of course I will !  Running it for Rosemere Cancer Foundation where Laura had a lot of her treatment.

 

I have just realised that I think I will need to cut this blog up into Episodes.  As each of the runs Ive done have all had their own stories.

Next – the international traveler !!!! October 2023.  First up Palma, Majorca. I mean after the down pour in the North East I deserved some sunshine and a feeling that it’s too hot to run !

Right ?

Wrong !!

To say I was wet is putting it mildly – it hadn’t rained for a week; and then ‘it’ ie the Heavens, thought Mike’s running I’m going to wait till he’s almost here then I’m going to ******** **** down ! And it did just as I was being dropped off

but as the spaniards gingerly tiptoed through the puddles with their running shoes in their hands, coming from Lancashire I just waded straight through !! and got very wet feet !!

 

 

The run was good.  One white haired gentleman I was running past  or was he running past me – probably the latter said

“Do you realise that between you and me we have almost doubled  the average age of this marathon!”  And even in Spain I got pats on the back saying – great charity to run for – which I absolutely love –  just amazing.  It’s the main reason I started running just 3 years ago – to support the charities fighting cancer !

But towards the end it, ie the Heavens, decided enough sun lets **** it down  so much so that every single part of me, skin, vest, shorts, socks, shoes  and anything else I was wearing were saturated, including my mobile !

Number 1-  tip carry your mobile in something water proof if the weather is going to be inclement ! After the finish the Phone rang and I couldn’t answer it; everything was too wet – in the end I had to ask a boy standing next to me if I can use his finger – between you and me with my Spanish and his English I was a bit worried  – but he eventually got the gist and he slid the answer bar across and I could finally answer !!!  Phew ! But that was the last call on that mobile ! And we put it to sleep somewhere in the Mediterranean !

But not to be defeated – a week later if its Sunday it must be

The beauty of having friends in far-flung places is that you can go and stay with them when you are running half-marathons in far flung places.  Venice was no exception.  For anyone that has attempted to run in Italy, you need a special form to say you are fit to run !! I duly filled in the form and sent it off,  Checked on the website to make sure everything was ok.. In big red letters it said you haven’t uploaded your form so you can’t run !!   I duly uploaded my form again and checked.  Big red letters again ! NO form – no run.  Uploaded again – Website NESSUNA FORMA – NESSUNA ESECZIONE ; by now I had become fluent in Italian ! I then decided that I was going to go and if I couldn’t run well C’est La Vie ( multi lingual by now !) On arrival to collect the number , the very nice lady said, “oh you can fill that form in here no one has filled it in !”    Anyway the half-marathon was great except who knew there were so many bridges in Venice?  They even built a special one for the run ! as if there wasn’t enough !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I also claim the best photo bomb ever when there was a special service, the evening before,  in a cathedral for the runners.  The whole service was in Italian and I didn’t understand a word.    I thought it would be a good idea to go in my running vest; no one else seemed to be, so I thought ‘in for a penny ‘ and joined the priests on the steps – just had to be done !


This blog has been sitting on my laptop for quite a while now so I best publish it before the writing begins to fade – along with my memory    It’s an age thing !

Next episode: Running with a moustache, being ‘outed’ for being an old man, running with Lions, the beginnings of ‘fame!’  and then of course the biggy – London 2024

Magic piano, Molehills and Mountains

Probably writing this to a very limited audience ! i.e. 1  ( me) but guess it’s cathartic. (First and last long word used !)  My last post on here was so long ago even I found it interesting (mildly) to read it to remember what I’d said !  It was January 2023, and in it I talked about running the London Marathon last year and the incredible experience it was and the reasons why I ran it.  The last 8 months have flown by and have provided all kinds of experiences.  As you know (well of course you know – it’s only me reading it !) So in January I said I’d try to run every month in official Runs/Races, and sometimes 2 or 3 times a month. My first one was 10 km at Tatton Park in very wet conditions.  At the end as I was walking back to the car, very wet and looking similar to someone who had a shower but forgotten to take their clothes off !, I said to a lady also walking back;

“Why do we do this?”She replied, “Because it’s a bug !”, as she got into her car, with registration: RUN 1.    She has a point !

The next 8 months saw me run as I had planned and up to date have completed 11 official runs.  With Great North coming up in 2 weeks.  Each run with their own story to tell.

For the  two of you i.e. me and my friend on the Isle of Wight ! (family joke -” I only have one friend and he lives on the Isle of Wight ” !)  who have read my previous blog , my bruised face and sore ribs was me falling over a very small stone on a training run !!! Is it old age, too tired, too many stones or just clumsiness  I know which one I think ! This meant that I completed some of the runs with a very strange support around my ribs which gave me an inclining of what women used to go through with a girdle!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Running in  London in February being cheered on by polar bears around Trafalgar Square; was a great experience. Running it with friends and family followed by a lovely lunch was a great ending to the run.
In Chester running past my house where I grew up and all my old haunts was something special;

 

 

 

 

 

Lea Valley running 13 times around a route where after 9 laps I lost count ! so I ran somewhere between 20 km and 24 km !Who knows ??? But great to finish the last lap with the ‘little man’!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Great encouragement from friends and family who were running Chorley 10Km;

Loved Manchester half marathon, amazing atmosphere, sharing jelly babies with other runners:- sounds a bit weird I know  but it was offered so who was I to refuse  and I managed to get under 2: 30 for the first time; so jelly babies hence forth to the fore.

Richmond  and Rickling – was great running it with family and friends, again amazing support.

  Abersoch where the winds and rains came and the last 1 km of the 21 km was on the beach!  As we turned the bend to arrive on the beach, I turned to the guy who I was running alongside and we both said; ” ******* **** ” or was it “Oh dear” can’t quite remember,.  Advice apparently was to run as close to the sea as possible where the hard sand was.  However, along the beach were approximately 13 groynes (look it up !) which were highest by the sea and lowest on the soft sand.   A challenge but can’t deny it was great experience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then a week ago ran the Lights at Blackpool – probably shouldn’t have due to no runs for over a fortnight; a minor op involving 22 stitches and a chest cough that made it tough to breathe ! But couldnt say no could I – I mean it was in the plan !!! Medal haul was growing so was bought a medal hanger -to make the place look tidy!

Of course have to remember why Im doing all this  ……

in memory of our amazing daughter – Laura

She really is with me on every run I do; her encouragement, her words, her presence.  It may sound very weird but running just makes the memory of Laura even stronger.

“It’s ok to feel low, unsure or emotional.  We are allowed to be vunerable as long as we don’t stay there and we keep pushing forward “

Laura Stephenson

So pushing forward is what I try to do

Just in case you’ve dropped off to sleep ( and who can blame you!) I’m raising funds for The Christie hospital leading up to the London Marathon 2024

The medal is part of the Christie Challenge, which is made up of 6 jigsaw pieces of a medal for 6 separate events I know that many many of you have given already, but sadly Cancer and especially Bowel Cancer is still very much with us and every penny counts to try and find treatments for it .

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/mikebarnes4

Every penny counts.

 

This takes me to the Magic Piano ………….

Now at this point I may well lose my younger readers !  When Junior choice was on the radio on a Saturday, one of my favourite songs along with Puff the Magic Dragon ( but we wont go into that !) was Sparky’s Magic Piano ! See I told you I’d lose you – but bear with ……

Sparky was a young boy who had a magic piano that played itself and everyone thought that it was Sparky that was playing, and he became famous for playing the piano; However, when he got over confident and said he didn’t need the magic piano anymore then the piano refused to play for him !!! What’s this got to do with ‘the price of bread?” I hear you say. Well I think the more confident I got with running the more I thought I can do this easily.  Move to now and I think my body has said ok go on then “Run without me helping”! Hence I now haven’t run for 2 or 3 weeks really ( except for Blackpool and a park run) and I now have to rest with a cough and stitches taken out yesterday but the medics said “No running/sweating for a few days.”  At this point I could go off at a complete tangent but I wont ! Maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill but no running for a number of days is: to get down with the kids “Doing me head in!”  Is my body like Sparky’s Magic Piano? Is this a simile or an analogy – I’ll have to ask a teacher !

I never heard the end of Sparky’s story but I’m hoping it turned out to be a positive one as I have the Great North Run in just 2 weeks time !!!!!

And as for the Mountain that episode  I promise will be coming along very soon and a weekend that has left me with a memory of inspiration and an amazing group of people …………..

Marathon Journey Chapter 3

Well talk about putting something off – this must stand out as a record ! I started this on October 9th – where does the time go ?  So my apologies but its really going to be a mash up of London Marathon, and next challenge/s .

On Sunday October 2nd 2022 at 16:47 I passed the finish line in what was probably one of the most exhilarating 5 hrs and 50 minutes of my life.  The strangest feelings take over your legs; although they are tired and physically you are quite shattered, your legs just seem to want to keep running – slowly I must admit, but they just want to keep moving.  There must actually be a ‘stopping distance’ for runners dependent upon the distance they have covered.  You can’t just stop dead.   But let’s not start at the finish, ‘cos that would be just too weird and a very short blog ! – lets go to the beginning.

A close friend said, “Why run when you can catch a bus ??”  To answer that I just simply have to refer to Laura’s saying, ”

For most of us with Cancer all we want is someone to fight with us and tell us that’s what they are doing !”

Laura, of course passed away in December 2019. She possessed the courage, faith, hope, and positivity that you can just stand back and admire.  She has 3 totally awesome daughters who are totally growing up in her image. When the going gets tough, or I don’t want to run, or I want to walk, or I want to stop ; she is there saying “You can do this!”  I run to celebrate your life and amazing courage.

I guess my running is my way of saying I am fighting with all those folk who are facing the most difficult times of their lives, either personally, family or friends. When I run I do definitely feel like giving up many times, but always in my head is “Dont be a ‘wuss’ you can do this.  All you’re doing is putting one foot in front of another – what can be tough about that compared to what some folk are going through – so I run !  I don’t particularly think, “Oh goody I’m going for a run!” but I guess there is something inside me that just drives me to go and run ! and believe me there are times when I REALLY don’t want to  !

 

So back to the London Marathon 2022.  Lots of people ask me “What was it like?” and my answer is always the same

“Probably one of the most exhilarating, exciting, challenging events that I have ever taken part in.!”

I apologise to those of you that i have totally bored with the story of the day but if I don’t write it down by tomorrow I’ll forget all about it ( it’s an age thing!) and I really don’t want to forget the day.

To start at the start – a very good place to start as someone once said …….I was fortunate that the son of some great friends of ours, Col and Steph, had a place in London in Finsbury Park so I could stay at his the night before.  This was partly through  making it easy to get to the start on the Sunday but also because of my previous history ( see previous blog ) that my friend said,

“I am  personally, going to put you on the train to make sure you get there on time, and I might even put a sign round your neck to make sure you get there.” 

Think he’s been reading too much Paddington Bear ! I mean as if I wouldn’t get there in time!!!!  So early doors, up and placed on the train. Caught the tube and then the connecting train to Blackheath Common.  They were four or five deep standing on the platform, all with their drop-off bag and most of them looking as nervous as I was. We packed onto the train.  It was like rush hour on a bad day – but with one big difference – everyone was talking with each other, polite, and not worrying if you were standing on somebody’s foot. Crammed in, literally standing face to face, stories flowed about why we were all running, and it was sort of then that I realised why I was attempting to run 26.2 miles. I met some amazing people just within the 2 or 3 stops to Blackheath Common. Meeting people like Rachel – who gave a donation to my Justgiving page –

“I met you on the underground on the way to the London Marathon ………. I have no doubt your daughter would be so proud of you – thinking of her little girls !”

Even walking from the start, chatting to another runner, who looked as though he’d lifted weights for years and run since he was six months old compared to the very old, skinny guy who just happened to rock up to the event; and hearing his excitement in undertaking his first London Marathon – similar minds if not bodies !   Standing in the middle of the common and looking around at all the people  getting ready with their outfits, drop-off bags, plastic bin liners , pre running exercises etc; each one with an incredible story to tell, I felt somewhat overwhelmed.

This time I just stood there and looked around; chatted with a group of first time runners. The sense of camaraderie was amazing.  Again a donation appears on my Justgiving page from Gillian and Kath,

It was so lovely to meet you at the start on Sunday.  Thank you for calming our nerves and helping with our ‘bin bag ponchos’  Massive congrats, an amazing achievement for an incredible cause!”

Just to explain, they had brought black bin liners as advised in order to keep warm while they waited, but as they slipped them over their heads realised that they hadn’t cut any holes in them for their head or arms. Should have taken a photo !!!

No sooner are you called to your “Wave and colour” and you are off on an incredible journey of 26.2 miles

Catch a bus ? – no thanks I’ll run !

Talking, gasping for breath, aching legs, aching body, – and that’s just within the first mile !!! Going past the man carrying a washing line, the Rhino and the Teddy Bear, the Penguin, the T”ree – well ok maybe they went past me but who’s counting!  Not only are the runners encouraging each other but the crowd are shouting your name and encouraging you as you run past

‘Go on Mike, you’ve got this ! Keep going” 

Who knew over three quarters of a million people would turn out to watch just me run !!!!  but that is honestly what it feels like.  And then of course you do have family and friends who also turn out to watch you – I do have to thank them all for their amazing support, generosity and just for being fantastic people who without them I definitely wouldn’t have been able to successfully complete the run.  Their support was just amazing ! Even friends who you didn’t know were going to be there and suddenly you hear your name shouted and you look;

“Whoa what you doing here – amazing – Hiya !”

 

and then you carry on to the next mile, and the next mile, and the next ……. all the sights of London zooming past you – well when I say zooming maybe just slowly going past but you get the idea

 

 

Jelly beans eaten, water stations gratefully accepted, sweets accepted, pieces of orange accepted, toilet stops declined – who knew I could go for 6 hours without going to the loo?   After 26 miles of just the most amazing time ever you approach Buckingham Palace and you think this is it, round the bend and run down the Mall.  In my mind I thought the run down the mall was the length of the Mall, but actually the finish comes much quicker than I thought.  I can honestly say that as I crossed the finish line I was looking around to see if I had actually finished – I thought I can’t turn to someone and say “Is that it?  Have I finished?” “No go on Do it again !” Sounds like a hob nob being dunked in your tea !  – (echoes of Peter Kay – if you know you know !) Very strange; my brain was just addled !

After that very bizarre moment you really want to shout out- “Yeeeeeeeee I’ve done it!” or grab someone to hug ; but that would have just been too weird. So you walk up through the other runners, accept your medal, take a shiny blanket and wrap it round yourself – even though you don’t really need it but Ive seen them do it on the tele !   And then I just stood and looked around. Feeling quite emotional I guess.  Feeling what have I just done? Feeling tired – no not really; I think the emotion takes over I guess.  When you finish, above the timing clock friends and family can put words up and through some clever technology they appear on the bridge over the timing clock.  If you’re running so fast as you go over the finish line (haha ) you don’t get to read them all but these were there for me as I crossed the line.  Again the old eyes start to blur, probably due to the sweat  and nothing at all to do with tears !!!!

I was met by Colin at the end and we walked to the rooms in the hotel that Bowelcanceruk had made available for the runners and their families.  At this point I do have to mention Bowelcanceruk, and just what an amazing organisation they are.  The support that I had was just brilliant.

Back at the hotel i met my family, friends and fellow runners who had now become close friends; absolutely the icing on the cake.

My family have been and continue to be my inspiration. There are just so many other people who had a hand in my running the marathon that it really was a team effort; the encouragement from my family; my friends; Bowelcanceruk; the people who donated in excess of £7,600 towards saving lives and improving the quality of life of everyone affected by bowel cancer.

       

 

 

THANK YOU  TO EVERYONE

 

Would I do it again ? 

 

ABSOLUTELY – APRIL 2024 HERE I COME

What’s next, I hear you say – thanks for that !!!!!!!    well funny you should ask………

The plan is from January 2023 leading up to April 2024, to run in organised events, each month, 10km, Half Marathon or Marathon, a total of 300 miles overall.  Raising funds for Bowelcanceruk please. One run already completed at Tatton Park in January, next one is next week  The Winter Run in London.   As an amazing online friend of mine said recently,

“Want to know the biggest risk for Bowel Cancer ?

Age ? …………….. No

Diet? …………………No

Lifestyle ? ……………….No

 

It’s ……………

      Having a Bowel !!! 

           So I make no apologies ………. Donations page is open.

What happened to your face, nose and ribs – Don’t ask !!!!!!!!!   That’s in the next blog …..……..

 

 

Lessons Learned – Marathon Journey

Chapter 2

Definite need to add Chapter 2 to my Marathon Journey. After the great success of my last blog – culminating in somewhere in the region of 1 comment (thanks Laura T !) I feel it is only fair to update you all . So as ever the whole reason for running the London Marathon is in memory of the amazing person that was Laura Stephenson. No amount of running could ever equal the strength and courage she showed throughout her illness. So every step of the way in races and the solitary running along the country lanes, avoiding dogs that snap at your heels, moving from one side of the lane when blind bends are encountered and waving politely at cars that zoom past within a few inches of me as I dive into the hedge, I know she is there saying – “Go on Dad, you can do this !” And for some reason every time I write that I have difficulty seeing – no idea why !!!

So running along the lanes listening to Frank Turner tunes, (that was the last gig we went to together), I decided really I should get another half marathon (for previous Half Marathon see Chapter 1) run to experience running with others as oppose to crawling along on my own etc. Enter The Big Half Marathon in London!

After carefully checking the temperature isn’t going to exceed 40 degrees and the percentages are there will be more of a certain age category running I decide to enter. Begin to slightly worry when I get an email from ‘The Big Half’ saying – “Great News; Mo Farah and Eilish McColgan are running with you in The Big Half ! Mmmmmmm don’t think they will be running “with” me but I get the gist !!

After my experience in the Richmond Park Half Marathon, I begin to think maybe I should change my diet of a coffee for breakfast and sometimes an evening meal when I feel hungry ! So a big change in diet with ‘Power Muesli’ for breakfast, ‘Can’t Beet Me Smoothie’, Warrior Drink and ‘Pesto Pasta with Sardines” I’m ready for the challenge.

Staying overnight in Stevenage, with Emily and Ben it’s an easy journey into London and Tower Bridge. Give myself plenty of time as occasionally, only very occasionally I’m a bit rushed – Not this time !!! A lift to the Station and I’m there standing on the platform at 7:50 waiting for the 08:05 direct train into London. Takes 20 minutes into London so plenty of time to hand my bag in and be at the there for a 10:10 start from just past Tower Bridge. At 08:05 an announcement over the tannoy, “The 08:05 train has been cancelled and due to delayed works on the line there will be no trains running until at least 09:00.

In the meantime, my family who are coming to support me and watch the event have travelled much later, gone a different route and at 09:20 are standing by Tower Bridge waiting to see me. At 09:25 Im still stood at Stevenage on Platform 3, dressed in my running kit, number on my vest, discussing the merits of British Rail with anyone who cares to listen ! Some 25 mins later, at 9:50 a train decides to pick up the prospective passengers off Platform 3. At Kings Cross I hop on the tube, totally relaxed ! I remove my tracksuit bottoms whilst travelling on the tube to Tower Bridge, totally oblivious to the looks I was getting from fellow passengers. Well to be honest not totally oblivious but by this time, I just didnt care ! Thankfully my ‘entourage’ met me at the exit of the tube station. Some 25 minutes after ‘all’, and I mean ‘ALL’ of the runners had started I discuss with the guy collecting the bags of the runners which way to go to the start. “Just go up round that bend, straight over Tower Bridge and the start is just down there !”

As I jog relatively quickly round the bend, I realise that his “just” and my “just” may not quite have the same meaning. I weave in and out of the crowds on Tower Bridge as they watch the whole posse of runners running across the Bridge. When I say the whole posse what I really mean is all but one ! I’m busy running in the opposite direction to try to find the start. The runners that I am now running past waving really politely at me as if to say – “Errrrr you’re running in the wrong direction !”

The runners after 6 miles ( I thought they’d just started !

This is what Tower Bridge looked like to me as I ran in the opposite direction ! I’m somewhere near the 3rd lampost on the left !!

A new definition of “just round the bend” is clearly now about a “mile down the road” ! So by the time I reach the Start arch, there are no competitors in sight just some pretty bored marshalls. At this point I just presumed i should keep running under the Start Arch and just keep running. I passed a marshall who was clearly important as he held a walkie talkie in his hand, I heard him say ” The last runner is just coming through, Number 10885 ! For some very strange reason I looked down at my chest and realised that the number was in fact mine !

I now know what Forrest Gump felt like. I just ran. No other runners in sight, just marshalls looking slightly bemused and smiling. Running along what is normally a very busy road in London totally on your own is quite an unnerving experience. I kept looking over my shoulder to see if they had opened the road! The slogan for the London Marathons, both the Big Half and The Full London Marathon is “We run as One” How did they know that I was !!! Just one runner !

A very busy underpass

Running along a road on your own is strange – running through a long underpass is just weird!!! I did resist the temptation to just shout “ECHO” at the top of my voice. Eventually I did actually catch up 2 other runners after about 2 or 3 miles. They too had been held up and together we ran the whole Half Marathon

For those teachers amongst you the two photo photos are great examples of compare and contrast experiences – On the left is mine and on the right is 14,000 other runners !

Eventually I managed to catch up on a few other runners and actually enjoyed the company of my two fellow runners.

After a somewhat strange start, the end was brilliant and overall it was a great experience. The encouragement from those who stayed was great. It did seem a long way and I did think to myself – “Can I really now run it all again – ie A Big Half x 2 !!!!! Scary – Time will tell very shortly !

But with you alongside me – Sunday here we come – and Chapter 3 – still time to donate

Thank you of course to all of you who have donated to such an amazing charity Your generosity is absolutely brilliant – Thank you so much

BowelcancerUk are the UK’s leading bowel cancer charity. They fund targeted research, provide expert information and support to patients and their families, educate the public and professionals about the disease and campaign for early diagnosis and access to best treatment and care.   Above all they are here to stop people dying of bowel cancer.

Im not sure whether procrastination is a good thing or not !

Since yesterday I’ve been ‘umming’ and ‘ahhring’ about whether to write this or not. Not only that but wondering where to write it as well ! Instagram?, Laura’s blog? Mine ? And as Sunday was Mother’s day Laura was very much in our minds, so thought on Laura’s blog it would be more appropriate.  Started it and then changed my mind as I thought I should really use mine as it has stood idle for almost two years.  And then I thought id go and make myself a cup of coffee while I thought about it !  A week later, coffees gone cold and still couldnt really decide ……  So kettles on and here goes  So whats prompted me to write …… well a number of factors but I guess mainly one.  Im in the process of transcribing Laura’s blog into a book.

In doing this, I of course have had to read every word she wrote, which obviously I had done previously ( honestly Laura I did !) but in doing this I absolutely realised that there were so many thoughts and words that she used that were so brilliantly crafted that I couldnt really compete with.  All I can do is recreate them word for word in a book, which hopefully will happen fairly soon if I can stop procrastinating over what else needs to be put into the book but I digress !

Another prompt has been that as last Sunday was Mothers Day, we really wanted to mark it in some way or other. So we decided to get 3 helium ballons and would take them up to Laura  ( why do I find it hard to say ‘grave’ ??)  and place them on 3 plant baskets.  The image that was in our minds were three helium ballons just standing perfectly upright looking very symmetrical attached to the three plant baskets. However, when we went up there, it was blowing a ‘hooley’ (is that how you say it ? ) and it was difficult enough to anchor the balloons down let alone position them so that they stood beautifully upright, as the picture will testify.  But you kindof get the picture as Im sure Laura did .

Then of course because of current circumstances we havent seen  Sophie, Naomi and Heidi for a week now, although last Thursday we did sneak onto Mark’s drive and sing Happy Birthday from the required distance of course.  We did have the twins a week last Wedndesday when we went for an explore into the woods.  Their smelling of flowers has long been a fascination and was just one of the many memories of Laura’s encouragement to them.

 

Two other happenings or as Laura would have said ‘God instances” happened.  Just standing in our Dining room and not doing anything in particular.  Just looking out of the window and thinking about nothing.  Well nothing I’d admit to anyway ! and watching people go past in their “once only daily excursion”, I just turned round and just looked at the wall facing me.

Captured on that wall are just so many memories and recollections. Before partners arrived on the scene, there was always an argument between the 3 girls over who had the most number of photos up !!! And obviously I couldn’t comment ! ( emoji of monkey with hands over mouth ) Now with partners and grandchildren we just need a bigger wall ! A long time ago when Julia and I were babysitting for others, we used to comment on how many photos they had up of their family and say how weird is that ! They must be very narcissistic !  Well I now know why ! Each one of the photos tells a very special story and I must admit I can just stand and look at them for a long time and just “think!” and say thank you .

 

The other thing that has happened and I kind of already knew it, but it’s just become even clearer now.  That is how amazingly kind, supportive, generous and and just generally lovely people are.  At the very end of last week, I ventured into a friend’s shop to just say Hi ,really, and see how she was getting on.  She then proceeded to give me a present which she had been keeping to give to us.  It was a ‘salt lamp angel’ which now sits in pride of place at home.  A gift which epitomises the generosity of people.  Thank you Helen, as ever – amazing .

This week has been very strange with everything going on but in some ways, probably partially due to technology, it feels that through the medium of Zoom, House Party, Whatsapp etc etc I actually feel closer to people, have spoken more to people  and have seen more people.   It is just amazing.  Never underestimate the value of friendship.  I know it is an overused expression but as long as we’ve got each other then the way of getting through all this is made that much easier.  Please dont stop.  Your value and friendship is immeasurable.

Even trying to write this blog, which I must admit I have been putting off – “What ?” “You put something off !”  “Surely not!” “I cant believe that !” Because as I was trying to work out how to change my blog from my Malawian adventures to a more generic “Musings and thoughts” and because I havent been on here for a while I’d forgotten what to do ! Yes I know that’s difficult to comprehend ! But I was getting increasingly frustrated and even went downstairs and said,  “I CANT DO THIS!” When unbeknown to me, my dreadful attempts at trying to sort it out were actually going out live, and even when I was in the middle of trying to sort it out I was getting comments from people saying “You can do it!” “Go for it!”  It was like having that little person in your head saying,  ‘Dont give up ‘! So thank you for that.  As the saying goes – You know who you are haha .  Hopefully the book is on its way!

In the words oIf Laura, “You all make me smile and I can’t wait to build more memories with you all in the many years ahead…Check in with friends”.

Chance of a Lifetime -Last Chapter of Mikes Mad Malawian Idea

Twelve months of living in a totally different environment, culture, existence – you name it, it’s very different.  Those twelve months have come to an end. Just far far too many things to remember and experiences that have happened. But of course although the country may be beautiful it’s the people that make it.  And I have met some amazing people over the last twelve months.

Most of them belong to the “school environment” but there have been other chance encounters with others as I sit drinking in a bar or on a beach or even just walking down the road – the plumber, the builder, the mechanic, the fisherman.

 

 

 

All wanting to talk and make friends, – “Will you be my uncle?” “Can I be your friend” and of course the classic “Give me money”  But even this is not done in any aggressive way but more with a smile on the face and a cheeky grin.

 

I don’t believe they actually think you will give them money but its more a greeting than anything else. I often suggested that just this once…….  maybe ……… possibly ……… the Malawian could give the Mzungu some money for a change.  This generally brought great guffaws of laughter and a high five – which invariably I missed! and felt rather silly trying to do it 5 seconds after their hand had gone down !

Looking back through my blogs many of them centre around my journeys to and from places; to the schools of course; to trainings of teachers and Head Teachers, to beaches at the side of the lake, down paths that you really don’t think a motor bike should go let alone a car; up hills that are incredibly steep yet unbelievably people are pushing bikes that are over ladened with enormous bags of charcoal or wood; ladies walking absolutely upright carrying enormous loads of wood or straw on their heads, well over their actually height in length. ( Does that make sense – just very very long pieces of wood !)

Sweat pouring down their faces in the heat of the day.  They do this journey every day, either to sell at the local trading centre, or to their village, or just to sell anywhere!  And every single one of them has a smile on their face.  As you go past either on the bike or the car a raised hand to say hello and a smile always gets a hugely positive reply.

Occasionally and very occasionally you can be going along a path or track and there is no one around…… or so it seems!   But come off your bike ( accidentally) or have a puncture or get stuck in the mud with the car wheels spinning and suddenly when you look up there is a sea of faces!  Where they come from I have no idea. They just appear as if they have been waiting every day for me to come off !!!

 

They just appear from nowhere, and rather than stand and just look, they desperately want to help, to get you sorted in whatever way they can.  They appear magically with the right size spanner to take a wheel off to mend a puncture or straighten a stand.  I did say to one –

 

“Where did that spanner just come from?”  and they just laugh and wink And again always with a huge smile and a tremendous willingness to help.

For the last few days of course I have been visiting the schools, both to say goodbye as well as to check that they are all up and running with the technology and the software.

 

Just 3 of my schools

 

 

 

Despite going to these schools over and over again I always just stand in amazement at just how many Learners are at the schools,literally thousands ………. both inside the classrooms and outside. How few physical classrooms there are. How open the spaces are all around the school. How magnificent the scenery is. How welcoming everyone is to see you.

As you arrive at the school, if you are lucky its directly off “the tarmac”, but many of my schools are along very dusty/muddy (depending on season – wet or dry!) tracks.

Many of these paths go through small trading centres or villages, where everyone stops and watches as you go past.

 

Every time I went through here I just thought it was the set for a “Western” !  Sorry it’s just my strange thought processes

 

The ladies sit on the ground with their tomatoes neatly piled in pyramid shapes on a maize bag, potatoes neatly stacked in small metal buckets that are over flowing with a pyramid shape of potatoes, maize laid neatly like a white carpet drying off in the sun, wooden stalls where vegetables are on display. Women at the water pump which clearly is the meeting place to chat and talk about the recent happenings.  And the ever present shelter made from sticks and straw where the local males congregate to sit and chat, mending bicycles and playing Bao ( a great game played on a wooden board with large hard seeds amazing for maths which probably accounts for why Im rubbish at it ! ) . Everyone watches as you go past, many wave and smile. ……..  Id love to know if they are the same people I pass every time and they recognise me, saying – “Hello here he comes again! ”  ………..I kind of hope they do

You drive/ride into the school and never quite sure where to go as obviously there is no car park ! You just drive literally between the learners who again just stand very still and watch.  You drive close to one of the classrooms or the Learning Centre, hoping that the door and burglar bars that protect the centre are open.  Usually a good sign is if there is a chair outside with a bucket of water outside.
This is for the learners to wash their hands before entering the centre and using the iPads. As you walk into the centre the Learners are in rows sat on wicker mats.  Each one with their iPad and headphones, working through the Masamu (Maths) App or the Chichewa (Language) App.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The teacher walks around the Learners just observing, occasionally talking to a Learner what to do or what not to do.  When I say ‘talk’ thats really a euphemism for  “shout”.  Now thats in the nicest possible way. I’ve told all the teachers this and so its nothing they don’t know.  Malawian teachers are really good at shouting. Thats not shouting because they are cross or angry ( as in a UK teacher shouting at a child within 30 cms of their face, which would produce a crying child in no time at all) but in Malawi they do that to explain what the learner should be doing.  And amazingly the Learner sits …… listens …. and does exactly what they should do………. without batting an eyelid or showing any emotion at all ! I have a theory that they do this because of the class sizes of 200+ and this is really the only way to communicate.  I have tried to get them to just go up and explain in a quiet way what the learner should be doing, but it may last for 2 minutes and then reverts again to “the shout” However, both parties seem perfectly content with this arrangements and the Learners are queuing up at the door to have their go !

 

The Learners iPads are effectively controlled by the teachers iPad The Learners sit with a screen that displays a lock.  The teacher starts the session and the lock disappears and the Learners can begin the session. Usually after 20  minutes ( however long the teacher has set the session for ) the Learners iPad will again display a lock and their session is over.

 

 

 

 

 

Now for the majority of the Unlocking Talent project schools throughout Malawi, (some 130 at present)  the iPads are locked down to just Masamu and Chichewa, but not Mangochi District ………. mine !

 

 

Why because I like to make things difficult for myself as always !!!! Why I have no idea  I think its a self-destruct button The iPads being open also at the request of the Donor – Unicef – but nobody else did it ! See I just like to make things difficult  I must learn the words “No …… It’s too difficult”!

The reason for having an “open” iPad  is it gives the Learners( and Teachers)  the ability to use other Apps. ………provided they don’t need connectivity ! With the iPad being locked to just 1 App, however good the 1 App is and it is excellent for Maths and Language, we are only using a small fraction of the power of the iPad. My schools have used an English Grammar App that exactly mirrors the final exams that Standard 8 Learners have to take………  to great effect with some amazing results.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve also added some Role Model Videos of Malawian Women who are working in important jobs despite many problems whilst growing up.  These videos can be watched by older girls to try to show them that Girls/Women can actually achieve great things through staying on at school.

The use of the Notes for Learners to use the keyboard …… something which they don’t encounter – punctuation, space bar, delete buttons all things they haven’t seen before. Insert images, video, text to be shared amongst the iPads

The Coordinators of each of the schools have learned the technicalities of the iPad and can transfer files, images and documents amongst the iPads to be viewed by the Learners. In this way not only are we giving Learners knowledge but also giving Teachers technological knowledge of the use of mobile devices.  Something which gives them huge enthusiasm and great excitement  …….. it does me as well They love learning how to use the technology. Ive trained, Teachers, Head Teachers, Inspectors, Advisers …… all of whom have shown a real enthusiasm for the tool and can see the huge potential – tip of the iceberg comes to mind.

The potential of the project Unlocking Talent is enormous.  Sadly sometimes the organisation and project management can hinder rather than advance the project.  But I guess that’s true of many projects.  Education Specialist Volunteers, like myself,  carry out many activities and supported by good organisational management the results are indeed amazing.  Of course there are frustrations, but then you have to continually remind yourself that you are working in an African Country that is one of the poorest in the world. And the vast majority of Malawians really want their country to achieve and improve ……… this is particularly true of the dedicated group of teachers and Head Teachers with whom I have been working.

I could go on and on about the special moments that I have enjoyed during the last 12 months  ……….. “No please don’t !” i hear you say and for those of you who have already stopped reading  ……… well you haven’t got this far anyway !   Amongst many of the images that I have in my head of my experiences, there are 2 that stand out.  One i have a photo of and the other I follow the advice of many people who say – put the mobile/camera away and just enjoy the experience …………

Ive mentioned about when you go into the Learning centres all the Learners are sat on mats with their iPads  If all is good the teacher is walking around checking that the iPads are working and the Learners aren’t stuck on something.  Sometimes because the App is an individualised program the Learners just work their way through the program with no need for help from the teacher (or at least that’s the perception of the teacher).  As a result the teacher sits down somewhere and has a rest or secretly goes on their mobile and sends texts ( shhhhhhhhhhh don’t tell anyone !)

But occasionally you witness something very special.  

I recently saw this teacher in the photograph get down to the Learner, who had special needs and spend at least 15 minutes on supporting him.  This would be impossible within the teachers classroom setting of 200+ learners in a pretty small classroom with very limited resources – certainly no time for 1:1

 

 

But here was the teacher spending time with an individual guiding them through the knowledge needed ………… nothing to do with technology but about advancing the Learners understanding of very simple basics of number.  In the classroom this Learner would have struggled.  The technology supported the learning of the child.  To those who say why use technology when the country needs so much else …………… this is why technology is so important …….. it literally empowers the learner – not technological empowerment but Knowledge and skills empowerment so important for individuals growing up as well as the future of Malawi.

The other image of course is related to a journey.  You wouldn’t expect anything else ! It was a Friday and the area I work in is mainly Muslim.  This particular Friday was Eid al-Fitr  All schools and public offices were closed.  It was a National Holiday.  But of course there were things I needed to do in a school so I arranged with the school, Mdinde school, to meet a teacher and adapt some iPads that weren’t particularly behaving. I visited the school, sorted out the iPads and commenced my return journey.  This journey took me on one of the most difficult tracks that i journey along – in the rainy season its just mud and extremely slippy and in the Dry season its just pure sand and extremely slippy.

 

Fortunately i was in my car as this is the track where on several occasions on my bike the ground has come up to meet me, and Malawians appear to assist.  As Im driving along the track taking care as even in a car the sand doesn’t make it easy to drive, I see ahead a large group of women coming towards me.  Effectively blocking the road, dancing and singing at the tops of their voices.  I slowed down and hadn’t got a clue what to do.  As they got to the car ……..  to use a biblical expression they parted like the waters of the Red Sea and just continued around the car.  I was surrounded by approximately 500 women just singing, dancing, smiling, waving, laughing …………. I just sat in the car inanely smiling back at them and returning their waves.  By this time I had completely stopped.  After what seemed like hours but was probably only a few minutes, the whole entourage carried on its way down the track, singing, dancing, smiling, waving high fiving, waving flags whilst I sat now on my own in the car and just went

” Wow!” This was their way of celebrating Eid.  An amazing event.

I carried on along the track only to see in the distance another group of women from the next village.  This group seemed slightly larger than the last one.  Forewarned about what was to happen I pulled the car over to the side of the track and waited for the swarm to approach.  On they came all wearing amazingly bright coloured Chitenjes (rectangular cloth wrapped around their body ) singing, dancing, waving flags, laughing, smiling, waving flags.  As they surrounded the car yet again many clearly wanted to high five me as they went past.  I started to move a bit like “dad dancing” as I sat in the car.  Many of the women noticed and applauded – Im sure not for my dad dancing but for sort of joining in with their celebration.  At this point I think I must have been caught up in the moment and throwing all caution to the wind – as you do when faced with a situation such as this !  I opened my car door and joined them in their procession, singing, dancing smiling, and laughing.  There was I surrounded by more than 500 women in one of the most rural parts of Malawi, dancing ( well just jigging a bit if i was honest)  ……… well known for my previous dancing exploits and severely embarrassing my off spring on many occasions, “Dad,  just stop !”….

I put all they had taught me and “Dad danced” all the way down the track with more than 500 women. Huge howls of laughter went up, cheering and just sheer pleasure, from both 500 women and myself ………… is this a Guinness book of records – hahahah.

It was a moment that just didn’t warrant taking out my mobile to record ……. it was indeed a “just live for the moment” experience.  After a while they continued on their way and I had a long but fantastic walk back to my car. …….. still ‘Dad dancing’ !

As some would say “A Chance of a Lifetime”

Why did I get out of the car and join in …………  ” Carpe Diem ”

 

And while Ive been out here i have had so many “Chances of a Lifetime” Every moment, every chance  has been amazing.   ……………. But I couldn’t have done it and remained sane without my truly amazing family and friends who have kept in touch and given me so much encouragement over the last 12 months.  To all of you I say a huge

THANK YOU – THANK YOU SO SO MUCH

Zikomo kwambiri

Will this be the last blog ?

Weaving with magic and through loam

Some days are good and some days are ………….. even betterer ! There you go you weren’t expecting that were you but its true  Despite what is thrown at you and Im not talking  literally although on occasions that does happen, there is always the bright side by thinking it just has to get better ! !

Two things happened recently that are poles apart but just struck me as amazing events.  Although one of them at the time didn’t seem amazing !

Apologies if Ive mentioned it before but its the Rainy season –

“Mention it before ??? You never flippin’ stop talking about it !!!!” I hear you say.

But honestly it is a really important part of life and the calendar out here. It is as they say “No Rain; No Life” Well despite it being the rainy season, it is still very sunny and hot on many days. Very few days are overcast all day. But as Ive said before when it rains, it rains ! You already know that I have two modes of transport, well three really if you count walking, but that aside, I ride a Trials motorbike as well as driving a car. Most people say now that the rainy season has come just use the car! It’s what it’s for ! Those of you who know me well enough –  ………”It’ll be fine”  ………..”No problem” ……….”If its sunny in the morning it’ll be fine” If it’s raining I’ll use the car.”

I never thought Id say this but actually I prefer riding the motorbike.  The scenery somehow is enhanced, the tracks, bumps, ridges, boulders are certainly easier to negotiate and there is something really pleasing at riding through the amazing African countryside, waving at the locals while they smile back at you or even just stare in absolute wonderment as this crazy guy goes through their village

 

 

“Didnt he come through here yesterday?”  “I think he did!”  “I wonder where he’s going ?”    ” I dont know but it’s a dead end so he’ll be back soon !” ( roughly translated from the Chichewa )  – anyway I like it !

 

 

So on this lovely sunny morning i flung open my bedroom windows and the sun is blazing down, not a cloud in the sky I could almost hear them singing “Who will buy this wonderful morning? ………etc” So I gather my jacket, helmet and gloves. Pack my little ‘over the shoulder bag’ with my laptop, camera, phone and ipads and off I set. I tend to always take my laptop with me wherever I go as its the one thing that if I lost it, I would literally cry ! So I always think best to take it with me and then I’ll not lose it ………………. except for the time when I left my ‘over the shoulder bag’ with all its belongings at the place where I eat, and only realised 2 hours later when I got home – but thats another story ! Opened the gate, kick started the bike and away i went  “… on this wonderful morning, and tying it up in a ribbon, knives grinding, selling milk…… the whole song ! ” … singing away to myself ! ” I was off to visit not exactly my furthest school away from where I live, but its about 50 km on the tarmac and another 35 km on the dirt-track. And there is some absolutely stunning scenery and everything looks so rich and fertile. The Maize is growing much taller, and the tobacco leaves are enormous, potatoes, beans and many I just don’t know the names of. Although there is quite a worry at the moment in Malawi that there just hasn’t been enough rain and it looks like it will be a bad year, which literally will mean a very tough time ahead for many Malawians, so fingers crossed the rains return ………. but not today thanks. 😉

I arrive at the school just as the Learners were entering the Learning Centre ( which is what we call the room where they use the iPads)  Their first job is to wash their hands. The bucket is filled of course from the local water pump.  Note one of the classrooms in the background. When they have washed their hands they enter the resource room generally taking any footwear off – if they have any on – place their plastic bags which contain their small exercise books just inside the entrance. They collect their headphones and sit down on the mats waiting extremely patiently for the teacher to give the next set of instructions.

And this is the point that it doesn’t matter where you are in the world, or how many children/learners are in your class, or even how old the learners are, a great teacher is a great teacher.  And it’s always a really pleasure to see someone who works their craft to great advantage. With very little instruction and a gentle voice he tells the learners to pass the iPads to their partners  and get ready to work on the iPads. Like anyone who is skilled within their area of expertise, it looks so easy, and very soon within a space of a few seconds, all the learners are intent on focussing on their own ipad. The logon for each of them is via selecting a photo of their face.  This isn’t always as easy as it would appear, as many of them don’t see their image very often, no mirrors or cameras.  I then of course try to assist by saying in a typically English slow way  “Is …. that ….. you ?” which only confuses them even more –

“Not only am I working on something which is not part of my normal life or schooling but this very strange person comes up to me speaking a language which I really dont understand and he’s pointing to a picture and then to my face – well what would you do ????

They just look at me in total bewilderment!   At the start it’s often their partner who says – ” Yes that’s him/her !” but they do slowly begin to recognise themselves the more they do it.

And there they sit in absolute silence working their way through their individualised App, while the teacher walks amongst them checking that they can all understand what they are doing. I just sit and watch and like watching a football match want to jump up and shout ……. “Thats brilliant !” ….. “Thats exactly what all teachers should be doing” …….  “Great support !” ……”Go on do it again ! …….. But I don’t!  …….I just sit there in awe,  watching a true artist practicing their craft and in the words of a good friend of mine “watching him weave his magic !”

 

The magic spell suddenly broken by the sound that I’ve come to recognise instantly of very heavy rain on a tin roof ! …………. ……. bike !   It’ll pass ! ……..It doesnt ! ………For the rest of the lesson I’m observing but not watching, all I’m doing is listening to the pitter patter or should i say drumming on the roof of what can only be described as extremely heavy rainfall !

At the end of the lesson, it’s time for me to make the trek home. Remembering my last experience of soaked mobile phones I ask the teacher if she has a plastic bag that I can put my mobile in to keep it dry – she hasnt but she ‘borrows’ one of one of the learners plastic bags and promises to pay them back ! I wrap my mobile carefully into my bag and then realise in my haste to get out this morning forgot to put my heavy jeans on which is recommended when travelling on a bike ! I had my light trousers on !

“I’ll be fine!” It’ll be ok !” My mobiles in a plastic bag what could possibly go wrong ?”

 

So off i set on my bike in what can only be described as one of the heaviest downpours known this Rainy season ! As I was riding along I was thinking of all the most difficult parts of the ride, the worse rocks part,the very steep hill going uphill, the very steep hill going downhill, the extremely muddy part,  so much so that I wasnt even thinking of getting wet.  I was mentally ticking off in my head each one of the tricky parts like playing a game (Photo not taken during the rain – Im not stupid !) ……..but this was the route I was riding

 

 

I was so pleased with my self for manoeuvring my way past all the obstacles.  Most of the track is loam soil which is composed mostly of sand , silt , and a smaller amount of clay, (I looked that up !) which when dry is great…………… but when mixed with water and the wheels of a motorbike become like a skating rink as the tyres try and get a grip.  So Im managing to counter manoeuvre every slide and slip, not only avoiding rocks but also extremely high density loam parts. My back wheel doing amazingly well as I zig zag my way along the track.  My mind starts to say you’ve done all the difficult bits only a few kilometres to the tarmac. ……………….. and then i sort of hit the highest density of loam that I had ever seen. I can only describe it as if it was in slow motion! It must have been over inseconds but it seemed like minutes ……..Literally with every slide of the back wheel I thought to myself Ive got this, and it slid to the right ……..I’ve got this,,, to the left……I have Ive managed it   left …. right …….bang ! and i hadnt got it.   Looking back now I have no idea why I just didnt ease off the throttle and come to a halt, but I didn’t Im pretty sure I was still pushing the throttle and like an ice skater going from side to side, increasing in speed.   The ground very quickly came up to meet me.  …….. And there I was lying on the ground, absolutely caked in a light brown soil all over me, my jacket, my shirt , my bag, my helmet, my bike, my light trousers even ! I landed on my bag …….. First thought of course wasnt have I broken any bones but ……. LAPTOP !.   But its pouring with rain so i just got up and trusted all was well with both body and technology !!! not necessarily in that order !

I managed to get my bike up again and started, which is always a main dread that it wont start. I got back on feeling a few bumps and bruises, which I wont go into but it still aches now !! I was due to go to another school but as I looked like the Incredible Hulk ( although he was green wasnt he ? but you get the idea!) caked in a muddy brown soil I decided to go straight back home.  As I rode home, of course to everyone I passed it was obvious I had come off due to the state of my clothing.  Normally you get a lot of stares as you go past anyone and on this occasion these were intensified and generally came with muffled laughter !

No bones broken ( I hope) and despite coming off I will always remember those few split secondsI of absolute fear and the sensation of ‘I can do this, I can,,,,,,, I can,,,,,, I can – oops’ which seemed to last for ages !!!!

I have now said that I wont use my bike again until the Rainy season is over – definitely not ……..I’m not going to ride it ….. although as a fellow Volunteer said to me –     “Yeah Yeah well not until the next time at least !

It’s just weather forecasts aren’t what they used to be ! …… but I guess the next time i hear “Who will buy this wonderful morning? ………. ” .. keep it …..

…….I’ll take the car !

 

and obviously Laptop was fine otherwise you wouldnt be reading this !

Well it is the Rainy Season !

Where do I start – since the last lot of jumbled thoughts and generally random events were reported we’ve had Christmas, New Year and now January is almost over.  Well many of you will know that I whimped out spending the holiday here and went back home to see family and friends. As I suspected I didn’t do a quarter of what I wanted to do or see everyone that i really wanted to see but as it says on a book that someone very kindly gave me – and those who know me well know that I like my sayings –

 

S o it was absolutely fantastic to see my brilliant family and a number of great friends. Ill catch the rest of you when I return – that is if you’ve remembered who I am !  Thanks to everyone for giving me a brilliant break. Loved every minute of it – except for the weather that is I mean who’d have thought you’d have rain and snow in December and January – huh ! But now its back to Sun, rain and temperatures that average 34 degrees Im not complaining – well I am really but more about that later haha and sitting in my little Garrett   (or was that the name of Billy The Kid or the Sheriff that caught him? ) its late at night but its still flipping hot – can’t open the windows otherwise be surrounded by even more mosquitoes Still can’t complain – well i am really ……. oops already said that !

So back to Malawi, and Mangochi in particular. Evening flight from Heathrow to Nairobi, change at Nairobi – and please remember this as its relevant later on ! ……Catch a flight from Nairobi, and land at Nampula airfield in Mozambique – not scheduled but hey I’m not comp …………. ……….Land in Lilongwe Airport in Malawi mid afternoon.  Get off the plane to the heat etc along with all the other passengers.  Feel really pleased with myself as I can now walk through the Malawi residents gate – well when I say gate its more like two tables pushed apart – as I now have my residents permit. This also saves me $75 entrance fee into Malawi. Feeling pleased with myself arrived back without too many mishaps, I proceed to the Baggage collection travellator (?) along with all the other passengers.  The obligatory solitary brightly coloured bag is going round the travellator. Clearly fast on the mark these baggage handlers  – first bag off – brightly coloured bag !

We all watch it go round ………and ……. round ……….and ………..round …………..and …………..round – no other bags decide to join it – ……….none – ………not a one ! By this time after a good 30 minutes of waiting …….Im tempted to pick up the brightly coloured bag and pretend its mine ! There are some pretty irate Malawians and other African Nationalities and various Nationalities from all around the world all  expressing their views and opinions. A single Malawian official then walks very slowly to behind a desk – they never run ! and he is besieged by irate passengers – I of course take  the typically English approach and stand at the back of the queue – although when i say queue thats a very generic expression for a pack of baying hounds ! Thinking aw well – never mind – Im sure the bags will turn up one day ! After much shouting, form filling in and general chaos we are told that whilst we changed planes in Nairobi our bags did not ! They are all still in Nairobi – Picture the scene … well I’ll let your imagination do that suffice to say Im at the back, smiling,  last to fill my form in, describing my bag and on leaving the poor beleagured official say – “Thank You” in a very English way ! Bags turned up 3 days later ! And for information the brightly coloured bag is still probably going round as no one picked it up!

Anyway starting back – very much back in with a bang – trying to visit all the schools that Im responsible for which when I arrived was 5 and now has grown to 17 and when they are 100s of Kilometres apart thats no mean feat.  I haven’t got round them all yet.  My focus for the first few weeks is on the schools that are using the iPads and the OneBillion app for Maths and Chichewa. With the holidays and the lead up to holidays and the coming back from holidays it takes some schools a while to get back into their stride – as indeed it does in the UK as well – never mine of course but thats another story ! .  Here it also takes a while for the Learners to return to school and out in the remote rural areas in which I work it takes the first two weeks for the learners to return and even then some just don’t come back at all. Quite sad really.    But off I start all refreshed to re-energise my schools. As its been a while since Ive been on my motor bike – no contest – who needs a car when theres the open road (track) ……. I don my summer leather jacket, summer gloves, jeans and helmet  …….. and all kitted up I jump onto the bike and roar off into the remotest part of Malawi.

 

Up over the mountain looking at the amazing views that were once all a very dry brown now a very luscious green due to the “Rains”, ….. along narrow paths that were once much wider but now seemed to have narrowed due to the “Rains”  Feeling the wind against me, back in the saddle again (Name that tune ! hehe) I approach a police road block, of which there are many along all routes. These generally consist of two metal bars across the road balanced on 3 metal oil drums. Or alternatively there are just traffic cones instead of the bars and three or four policeman tucked away somewhere. I know this Police Road block fairly well as travel through it almost every day, on fairly good terms with the police who man it, so that by now I just generally wave and squeeze through a very narrow gap between a rock and the first oil drum, which means that the police don’t have to come and lift the barrier.  I have become quite expert now at being able to wave with one hand and manoeuvre the bike between the rock and the drum. ……… Pride comes before ……………   Waving away I pass by the rock and the drum, well thats what I meant to do but Im sure someone must have moved the rock closer to the drum because on this occasion I hit the rock. Keeping my balance, and feeling incredibly pleased with myself – as Evil Kenevil (?)  does it again to the roar of the crowd I ride on only to feel the bike become slightly wobbly, and then even more wobbly. I look down and my front tyre is almost flat – a puncture !   It was at this moment that the “Rains” decided that today was the day!

In the middle of a huge deluge I just managed to limp to the nearest Trading Centre to ask a group of men on the side of the road if they knew anyone that could help. This is Malawi so of course they did – and even if they didn’t they would say they did anyway !

They took me to a sort of straw lean to,  that underneath had a number of men sheltering from the rain. Out of this group of men appeared an elderly gentleman followed by 3 or 4 others who then proceeded to take my bike off me, wheel it under the shelter, took my helmet and instructed me to sit down on the bench surrounded by a group of people while they mended my puncture.  I sat and watched while the amazing craftsmanship of these people just took out the inner tube revealing  a 2 cm hole in the tube and a valve which had completely ripped out …….. and they just mended it ! No sucking of teeth; no shaking the head; no “Oooooh this is going to cost you guv!” They just did it ! …… Brilliant……… I was charged the princely sum of 2,000 Kwacha roughly £2. They all smiled and wished me a safe journey. I was absolutely amazed by their skill and I have to say it just echoed the view that Malawi has some of the friendliest people on this planet.

 

The rains had abated so I thought …. why not I’ll carry on to my schools only another 50 or 60 Km to go.

Well this is as I said before the rainy season – after 2 minutes it started to throw it down again, and this time it didn’t stop it kept on all day.  Undeterred i carried on, ….. and on … and on in my summer jacket. gloves and jeans. For those who know me once Id decided to carry on I wasn’t going to let a little rain stop me. ………………. Foolish !! At my age you’d think I’d learn ! But no …… Carry on I did…….

After about 40 Km, every part of me was soaked through. I did not have a dry part of my body at all. I found out that summer Motor Bike jackets are not waterproof, nor gloves, nor jeans, nor anything else that I was wearing. Do I turn back or carry on …. it was still pouring with rain and by now not only was I wet but starting to get very cold – probably for the first time in Malawi – my fingers started to turn blue ….  about 5 km from the first school, I decided that it probably didn’t look very good to turn up a wet shivering specimen coming to tell them what they should be doing with their iPads, and to be honest at this stage iPads was not at the forefront of my mind – It was survival !!!! I turned round in the middle of the road and headed home – and for the whole 80 Km it didn’t stop raining ! And if ever you’ve been on a Motor Bike in the pouring and I mean pouring rain you’ll appreciate how cheerful you need to be !!!!!

Pictures are my attempt to show the rain when I got home  – I failed dismally but you get the gist

 

When at last at home I of course struggled to open the locks due to my fingers being so cold and as already mentioned the locals usually stand and stare just out of curiosity; on this occasion despite the rain I think they must have all called their mates – “Hey come and have a look at this Masungu trying to get into his gate – its really funny !!!!  They watched as I attempted to open the locks with fingers that now had no feeling in whatsoever and were slowly going to sleep one by one

Once in,  I emptied my pockets of water and the rest of the contents, two of which were my 2 mobile phones. I had forgotten that they were in my pocket and had effectively been swimming in water for the last 2 hours – needless to say ……….. and despite the old bag of rice trick ………what I call my english iphone i.e. my english number and contacts etc has refused to work.  So if you haven’t heard from me for a while thats why !!!! My Malawian number still works for Whatsapp etc    All other usual communication channels are working – I think – but you can always leave a message /comment on here.

So now I take a good look at the sky before deciding which mode of transport to use.

When I relayed this story to my Malawian friends – response …………..

WELL IT IS THE RAINY SEASON – DOH!

(didn’t know they watched the Simpsons )

 

Twitter, Schools and Sensitisation

About time for another few words of … well certainly not wisdom and possibly not even sense but just ramblings I guess.  When I go on Twitter to see whats happening with the educational twitterati (thats probably not the right word but hey ! I know what I mean which is what matters – actually it’s not but ……. ) I do envy the courses and conferences that I am missing.  Those that I went to last year and met such great folk – keeping in touch via Twitter and other social media outlets really does make a difference to being out here in Malawi. So thanks to all those who occasionally like my tweets ( although always feel I should do more !) and even better to those of you who actually comment in some way or other without you I things would be even more difficult.  Even got my name up in a staff room amongst all the extremely worthy people of Twitterdom – something that I’m very humbled by but what a great idea to get teachers into the world of Educational Twitter.  Only last night I tweeted for an answer to a problem that we had with the iPads and I have to say I was overwhelmed by the response – truly amazing – Thank you so much. 

Ive been visiting some of my schools in the Mangochi district, which is in common with most of Malawi fairly rural.  Strangely when you tell Malawians where you are living the response to

“i’m in Mangochi ”

 

is    “Oh never mind !”

haha

Most of my schools are on the Mozambique border.  I would have taken a photo of it but after my brush with the law on taking photos I decided not to – (wise move I think ) – Ooops just realised I did take one —not  good one but ………..!!!

 

You wouldn’t really notice the border as its just a barrier just off the main tarmac road in the middle of a Trading Centre. On either side of the barrier which is really just a very bent metal pole on two stands are lorries laden with goods, presumably both coming and going across from Malawi to Mozambique and vice-versa.  When going through this particular Trading Centre actually it’s really a small town called Chiponde, especially on Wednesdays ( Market Day ) you can’t in fact see the way ahead for stalls, people, animals, lorries, mini-buses, you name it – it’s in your way.  You just have to throttle down to walking pace and just hope that people get out of your way or there is enough space to get through. Many of the mini-buses which are the Malawian form of public transport just stop in the middle of the road or indicate left and turn right, reverse suddenly or just open their doors at the precise moment that you are overtaking them.  Absolutely a law unto themselves !

 

 

One of these days I will stop and take a photo, but I get enough stares and looks as I ride through on my bike so its just plucking up the courage ! haha

 

 

 

My schools are fairly well dispersed, Over 200 Km between the 2 extremes.  Apologies for ”km’ not miles’  but when in Rome … Im sure you can convert !  Most of the schools are down dirt tracks and certainly over very rickety bridges as I think Ive already said.  As you ride down the tracks you do get the obligatory stares and complete standstill as if someone has suddenly said “freeze – except for your head It doesn’t matter what you are doing, carrying buckets of water on your head, riding a bicycle, playing in the sand, or just walking – You all have to freeze as this strange person on a motor bike goes past ! ”  It really reminds me of the times when you walk in to a strange bar and the minute you open the door all heads just turn and look.  Almost saying “What are you doing in our bar and who are you?” Its just one of those things you get used to . 

Again the customary wave and the response is generally a smile back.  On my first occasions of not really knowing where I was going I stopped to ask those who stand watching – usually at the water pump which are situated within a group of houses, only to realise that the vast majority of people out in the countryside don’t speak English at all and they usually call for their children who quickly and thankfully translate.

 

There are no signs to follow but again thankfully, off any road or track, there is a stone plinth which says the school name.  Follow this and eventually you get to buildings which are always the same.  Usually buildings which comprise of two classrooms each building.   The buildings are usually in a square or just placed in rows, or to be honest any configuration that the contractors decided to build them in.  Consisting of general breeze block ( sort of ) for the windows and a door and 4 walls.

 

 

This is a Standard 1 classroom i.e. the first year in school

A blackboard inside and thats your average Malawian classroom

 

 

I recently held “Sensitisation” meetings in the schools where we are constructing new Learning Centres.  When I say I held what I mean is I was there and was introduced to the school community to explain who I was – but as the whole meeting is conducted in Chichewa – this is These are meetings that are held to inform the Community of what is happening in the school and telling them all about the project.  The main groups invited are The Senior Management Council  who kind of oversee the activities at the school – bit like Governors I guess but not – doesn’t make sense I know but its the closest I could find ! , the PTAs which is a group of parents obviously and every school has one, and the Mothers Group who are obviously a collection of ladies from the village who also are an important factor the school and again all schools have them, the local Headmen of the tribes and the rest of the community.  

 

 

 

 

We held 5 of these meetings in total and an amazing number people turned out, almost 1,000.

 

 

It means such a lot to these communities and as well as a number of very lengthy speeches, there were so happy that very often they broke out into song and some even danced.

 

 

Just thought Id mention Copley School on Yorkshire who are the first school to take up my offer and have sent me some great questions from their Eco Group.  Thought Id just copy some of their questions and my answers

How many classes are there in a school? 

“This varies but an average schol has about 1200 Learners going up to 3, 000 and there are usually  2 or 3 classes in each Standard.  We don’t have Year groups we have Standard 1, Standard 2 up to Standard 8 in all the Primary schools.  The biggest classes are in Standard 1 and each Standard reduces in number as you get up to Standard 8 who may only have 40 Learners.  This is because unlike English schools the Learners don’t automatically go up to the next Standard each year. Learners start at the age of 6 in Standard 1 but as many are kept back until they reach a certain level they are a mix of ages anywhere from 6 to 11  This means huge class sizes in Standards 1 and Standrad 2 & 3 Many Learners just drop out of school and don’t attend which is why the numbers drastically reduce as you go up the school”

Do the children have play times and if so, where do they play/what does their playground look like? 

“They do have playtimes However, throughout the day you see lots of children out of their classrooms.  This is usually because their teacher is doing something else or is on a course or is absent because they are poorly and the Learners are outside. They don’t have any one to look after them.  Sometimes when I arrive in a school I ride up on my motorbike right up to the classrooms .  I am surrounded by 50 – 100 children because they want to just see the bike and to see me.  They want to talk but their English isn’t very good. Generally the teachers chase them off.

Their playground is just the land around the classrooms. They don’t have walls or fences like you do.  The whole school area is just open.  Usually it is in a small village and the school is part of the village. Some teachers have  brick built houses next to the school.  If the teachers are unlucky they have to live in the village which usually means no water or electricity and sometimes a long walk to school

School starts at 7:30 and finishes at 12:30 for Standard 1 & 2 The rest finish at 2:30

 How do the children learn and the teachers teach without interactive whiteboards? (The children really could not get their heads around having no technology whatsoever!) 

“The teacher stands at the front of the classroom and writes on the blackboard – which can take a long time.  The Learners sit and wait.  The teacher then explains to all the learners. The usual lesson consist of a the Learners sat on the floor and the teacher stands in front teaching.  

In many schools they don’t have enough rooms for the classes so a classroom is literally the shade under a tree and a blackboard and easel  is placed there for the teacher

            This is one reason why the schools like the iPads.  It has even brought Learners back to school who had not turned up for a long time, just to go on the iPads.”

If theres any other school or organisation who wants to get in touch please do so

Again apologies for an uninspiring blog – next time what you do when the electricity goes off regularly for long periods of time, there is no water coming through the taps and you can’t unlock your security gate because the lock has jammed !!! – Happy Days !

 

Buttocks and Bouncing Balls

Well, having been here for a while – actually only 3 weeks but it seems like a while. And I guess that its debatable if three weeks is a while or not …… anyway I digress …… having spent every weekend in solitary confinement within my accommodation I was fortunate enough to be invited out by other volunteers who are working in Lilongwe. So in the words of Beverley Knight I decided to “Get Up” and accept the invitations. (showing my Pub Quiz pop knowledge there ! )   The first invitation was to join in a hill climb / walk. The hill in question is called Bunda – a Portugese/Brazilian word apparently that means Buttocks , Ass or Bum – no comment ! (Google it – it is honestly !) Now ‘Bunda’ is a bit like Moel Fammau (I think that’s how it’s spelt. ) because when I used to live in Chester I loved to look out to the Welsh mountains and listen to the Welsh choirs singing ………. ( well maybe not !) and see Moel Famau (Ive checked the spelling now and also started talking with a Welsh lilt – what’s that about  ?) This was the tallest mountain that I could  see from my house.  Well similarly ‘Bunda’ stands in the distance when you are in Lilongwe …….. except it’s steeper. higher , more remote and far far more difficult to walk up.  But not to be discouraged by that fact off we set in two cars to the foot of the hill. There are a number of things you have to understand in trying to envisage what I mean by the foot of the hill.  All around the land is perfectly flat and then like a cone just stuck on the land, Bunda rises up in front of you. There is no road of course that leads to the bottom, but a very bumpy dirt track with numerous pot holes and ridges, On arriving at the foot of Bunda there were a number of adults and children milling around two or three straw thatched houses.
We parked the cars and gave some money to the ladies sat on the wooden bench who said that they would look after the cars.  Now this wasn’t a “Do you want us to look after your cars mate or else we’ll pull your wing mirrors off” which one might find in some certain cities in England , but more of a ” We will look after your cars for you sir” and as we were kind of parked within 2 feet of their front doors – fair enough.

And so began the walk/climb up Bunda. We were joined by a group of 4 or 5 boys aged between 6 and 10 who offered to be our bodyguards, and guided us as to the best way.  This wasn’t like a walk up a  hill in the Lake district, or the Pennines  where you weaved your way through the rocks or at the very least some footholds to aid your ascent.  If you can imagine getting hold of your tiled bathroom floor at one side and tilting it at an angle of 60º, and trying to walk up it with a lean of 45º then the is what it was like climbing up Bunda – smooth granite rock.   Needless to say the boys, barefooted, jumped and danced their way up the slope, clearly knowing every turn. rock, slope that there was.  They had obviously grown up on this mountain and it was theirs. They took great delight in showing off its hazards and wonders.  Even more amazing was that as we were walking up, leaning at an angle of roughly 45º, coming in the opposite direction were ladies, many with babies strapped to them walking absolutely beautifully down the mountain, no panting, no looking that it was difficult, no looking tired, just walking , ………and there is no other word for it … majestically down the slope

It was an amazing walk up and I soon realised that this mountain had  certain religious connotations as at the top were some very crudely, yet beautifully  built shelters for people to go and stay in possibly for 2 or 3 days to pray.

At the top the views were absolutely amazing, due to the flatness of the surrounding land.    

Views that were well worth the climb. In fact it was so calm and peaceful to just sit on the top that there was clearly a danger of staying up there for too long, and let the sun go down behind the horizon, as in Malawi it does tend to get dark around 5:30 to 6:00.  But we pulled ourselves away from the views and set off down, marvelling at the amazing sunset.

Thankful that our guides knew the exact route down as the sun eventually set, and we made it down just as the sun had set and we were in darkness.

The next excursion the following day, was completely different – a football match between two of the biggest teams in Malawi – Bullets v Silver  Now Bullets who have no sponsor,  apparently are ‘The People’s Team of Malawi and Silver do have sponsorship.  They are two rival teams who are from Lilongwe. Walking to the stadium was very much like a football match in England, crowds, people selling souvenirs. food etc.  We went into the expensive seats because this was the only side with a roof..  When I say seats it’s actually steps that you sit on, but everyone sits on the steps and no-one stands up on this side at all.  Whilst on the other three sides it’s all standing with no cover at all. The stadium probably holds about 15,000.  The pitch showed a few signs of grass but was extremely hard which meant the ball bounced excessively.  This bounce invariably meant that tackles were occasionally high and a number of injuries were sustained.  Whether this was normal or not I’m not sure but at least 8 players were taken off by stretcher during the game. There were various dances and considerable cheering as Silver took the lead 2- 0.  Two highlights of the match occurred towards the end of the Game, some stones were thrown at a player from The Silver team.  This resulted in the players and the referee standing around while the armoured car, throbbed into action and sped around to the far side of the pitch.  Now at this point I was going to take a photograph, but remembering my previous interaction with Officials within Malawi, I slid my camera back in to my pocket, as these guys in the Armoured car clearly meant business and I didn’t fancy explaining that I had just arrived and was unaware of anything at all !!!!!!.  The crowd who clearly were the target of the armoured car quickly disappeared, as the armoured car carried on its way around the pitch trying to spot the stone thrower – thoughts of Life of Brian came into my head ……….(Im not going to explain you’ll just have to watch the film and look out for the stone throwers !) –

Whilst all this was going on the referee restarted the game, and Bullets scored a goal but it was not acknowledged as a goal until at least 4 minutes after it had been scored ! The crowd needless to say were not happy with the result and as the match finished there were various ‘discussions’ going on between supporters.

 

 

To round the day off we visited a bar on the way home.  With iron bars on the counter of the Bar you had to pass your money through the bars and receive your drinks in a similar manner.  With our drinks in our hands we no sooner had put the drinks to our lips than all the electricity went off, and we were plunged in to the dark. Fortunately I remembered where my mouth was and it didn’t stop me from drinking a ‘Green’ , the local ale.

The electricity and hence the lights stayed off for the rest of the evening – drinking to the light of the torch on the iPhones – just a normal evening in Malawi, but a great one at that.