Twelve months of living in a totally different environment, culture, existence – you name it, it’s very different. Â Those twelve months have come to an end. Just far far too many things to remember and experiences that have happened. But of course although the country may be beautiful it’s the people that make it. Â And I have met some amazing people over the last twelve months. 
Most of them belong to the “school environment” but there have been other chance encounters with others as I sit drinking in a bar 
or on a beach or even just walking down the road – the plumber, the builder, the mechanic, the fisherman. 
All wanting to talk and make friends, – “Will you be my uncle?” “Can I be your friend” and of course the classic “Give me money” Â But even this is not done in any aggressive way but more with a smile on the face and a cheeky grin.
I don’t believe they actually think you will give them money but its more a greeting than anything else. I often suggested that just this once……. Â maybe ……… possibly ……… the Malawian could give the Mzungu some money for a change. Â This generally brought great guffaws of laughter and a high five – which invariably I missed! and felt rather silly trying to do it 5 seconds after their hand had gone down !
Looking back through my blogs many of them centre around my journeys to and from places; to the 
schools of course; to trainings of teachers and Head Teachers, 
to beaches at the side of the lake, 
down paths that you really don’t think a motor bike should go let alone a car; up hills that are incredibly steep yet unbelievably people are pushing bikes that are over ladened with enormous bags of charcoal or wood; ladies walking absolutely upright carrying enormous loads of wood or straw on their heads, well over their actually height in length. ( Does that make sense – just very very long pieces of wood !)
Sweat pouring down their faces in the heat of the day. Â They do this journey every day, either to sell at the local trading centre, or to their village, or just to sell anywhere! Â 
And every single one of them has a smile on their face. Â As you go past either on the bike or the car a raised hand to say hello and a smile always gets a hugely positive reply.
Occasionally and very occasionally you can be going along a path or track and there is no one around…… or so it seems! Â But come off your bike ( accidentally) or have a puncture or get stuck in the mud with the car wheels spinning and suddenly when you look up there is a sea of faces! Â Where they come from I have no idea. They just appear as if they have been waiting every day for me to come off !!!
They just appear from nowhere, and rather than stand and just look, they desperately want to help, to get you sorted in whatever way they can. Â They appear magically with the right size spanner to take a wheel off to mend a puncture or straighten a stand. Â I did say to one –
“Where did that spanner just come from?” Â and they just laugh and wink And again always with a huge smile and a tremendous willingness to help.
For the last few days of course I have been visiting the schools, both to say goodbye as well as to check that they are all up and running with the technology and the software.
Just 3 of my schools
Despite going to these schools over and over again I always just stand in amazement at just how many Learners are at the schools,literally thousands ………. both inside the classrooms and outside. How few physical classrooms there are. How open the spaces are all around the school. How magnificent the scenery is. How welcoming everyone is to see you.
As you arrive at the school, if you are lucky its directly off “the tarmac”, but many of my schools are along very dusty/muddy (depending on season – wet or dry!) tracks.
Many of these paths go through small trading centres or villages, where everyone stops and watches as you go past.
Every time I went through here I just thought it was the set for a “Western” ! Â Sorry it’s just my strange thought processes
The ladies sit on the ground with their tomatoes neatly piled in pyramid shapes on a maize bag, potatoes neatly stacked in small metal buckets that are over flowing with a pyramid shape of potatoes, maize laid neatly like a white carpet drying off in the sun, wooden stalls where vegetables are on display. Women at the water pump which clearly is the meeting place to chat and talk about the recent happenings. Â And the ever present shelter made from sticks and straw where the local males congregate to sit and chat, mending bicycles and playing 
Bao ( a great game played on a wooden board with large hard seeds amazing for maths which probably accounts for why Im rubbish at it ! ) . Everyone watches as you go past, many wave and smile. …….. Â Id love to know if they are the same people I pass every time and they recognise me, saying – “Hello here he comes again! ” Â ………..I kind of hope they do
You drive/ride into the school and never quite sure where to go as obviously there is no car park ! 
You just drive literally between the learners who again just stand very still and watch. Â You drive close to one of the classrooms or the Learning Centre, hoping that the door and burglar bars that protect the centre are open. Â Usually a good sign is if there is a chair outside with a bucket of water outside.
This is for the learners to wash their hands before entering the centre and using the iPads. As you walk into the centre the Learners are in rows sat on wicker mats. Â Each one with their iPad and headphones, working through the Masamu (Maths) App or the Chichewa (Language) App.
The teacher walks around the Learners just observing, occasionally talking to a Learner what to do or what not to do.  When I say ‘talk’ thats really a euphemism for  “shout”.  Now thats in the nicest possible way. I’ve told all the teachers this and so its nothing they don’t know.  Malawian teachers are really good at shouting. Thats not shouting because they are cross or angry ( as in a UK teacher shouting at a child within 30 cms of their face, which would produce a crying child in no time at all) but in Malawi they do that to explain what the learner should be doing.  And amazingly the Learner sits …… listens …. and does exactly what they should do………. without batting an eyelid or showing any emotion at all ! I have a theory that they do this because of the class sizes of 200+ and this is really the only way to communicate.  I have tried to get them to just go up and explain in a quiet way what the learner should be doing, but it may last for 2 minutes and then reverts again to “the shout” However, both parties seem perfectly content with this arrangements and the Learners are queuing up at the door to have their go !
The Learners iPads are effectively controlled by the teachers iPad The Learners sit with a screen that displays a lock. Â The teacher starts the session and the lock disappears and the Learners can begin the session. Usually after 20 Â minutes ( however long the teacher has set the session for ) the Learners iPad will again display a lock and their session is over.
Now for the majority of the Unlocking Talent project schools throughout Malawi, (some 130 at present) Â the iPads are locked down to just Masamu and Chichewa, but not Mangochi District ………. mine !
Why because I like to make things difficult for myself as always !!!! Why I have no idea  I think its a self-destruct button The iPads being open also at the request of the Donor – Unicef – but nobody else did it ! See I just like to make things difficult  I must learn the words “No …… It’s too difficult”!
The reason for having an “open” iPad  is it gives the Learners( and Teachers)  the ability to use other Apps. ………provided they don’t need connectivity ! With the iPad being locked to just 1 App, 
however good the 1 App is and it is excellent for Maths and Language, we are only using a small fraction of the power of the iPad. My schools have used an English Grammar App that exactly mirrors the final exams that Standard 8 Learners have to take……… Â to great effect with some amazing results.
 
We’ve also added some Role Model Videos of Malawian Women who are working in important jobs despite many problems whilst growing up.  These videos can be watched by older girls to try to show them that Girls/Women can actually achieve great things through staying on at school.
The use of the Notes for Learners to use the keyboard …… something which they don’t encounter – punctuation, space bar, delete buttons all things they haven’t seen before. Insert images, video, text to be shared amongst the iPads
The Coordinators of each of the schools have learned the technicalities of the iPad and can transfer files, images and documents amongst the iPads to be viewed by the Learners. In this way not only are we giving Learners knowledge but also giving Teachers technological knowledge of the use of mobile devices.  Something which gives them huge enthusiasm and great excitement  …….. it does me as well They love learning how to use the technology. Ive trained, Teachers, Head Teachers, Inspectors, Advisers …… all of whom have shown a real enthusiasm for the tool and can see the huge potential – tip of the iceberg comes to mind.
The potential of the project Unlocking Talent is enormous. Â Sadly sometimes the organisation and project management can hinder rather than advance the project. Â 
But I guess that’s true of many projects. Â Education Specialist Volunteers, like myself, Â carry out many activities and supported by good organisational management the results are indeed amazing. Â Of course there are frustrations, but then you have to continually remind yourself that you are working in an African Country that is one of the poorest in the world. And the vast majority of Malawians really want their country to achieve and improve ……… this is particularly true of the dedicated group of teachers and Head Teachers with whom I have been working.
I could go on and on about the special moments that I have enjoyed during the last 12 months  ……….. “No please don’t !” i hear you say and for those of you who have already stopped reading  ……… well you haven’t got this far anyway !  Amongst many of the images that I have in my head of my experiences, there are 2 that stand out.  One i have a photo of and the other I follow the advice of many people who say – put the mobile/camera away and just enjoy the experience …………
Ive mentioned about when you go into the Learning centres all the Learners are sat on mats with their iPads  If all is good the teacher is walking around checking that the iPads are working and the Learners aren’t stuck on something.  Sometimes because the App is an individualised program the Learners just work their way through the program with no need for help from the teacher (or at least that’s the perception of the teacher).  As a result the teacher sits down somewhere and has a rest or secretly goes on their mobile and sends texts ( shhhhhhhhhhh don’t tell anyone !)
But occasionally you witness something very special. Â 
I recently saw this teacher in the photograph get down to the Learner, who had special needs and spend at least 15 minutes on supporting him. Â This would be impossible within the teachers classroom setting of 200+ learners in a pretty small classroom with very limited resources – certainly no time for 1:1
But here was the teacher spending time with an individual guiding them through the knowledge needed ………… nothing to do with technology but about advancing the Learners understanding of very simple basics of number. Â In the classroom this Learner would have struggled. Â The technology supported the learning of the child. Â To those who say why use technology when the country needs so much else …………… this is why technology is so important …….. it literally empowers the learner – not technological empowerment but Knowledge and skills empowerment so important for individuals growing up as well as the future of Malawi.
The other image of course is related to a journey.  You wouldn’t expect anything else ! It was a Friday and the area I work in is mainly Muslim.  This particular Friday was Eid al-Fitr  All schools and public offices were closed.  It was a National Holiday.  But of course there were things I needed to do in a school so I arranged with the school, Mdinde school, to meet a teacher and adapt some iPads that weren’t particularly behaving. I visited the school, sorted out the iPads and commenced my return journey.  This journey took me on one of the most difficult tracks that i journey along – in the rainy season its just mud and extremely slippy and in the Dry season its just pure sand and extremely slippy.
Fortunately i was in my car as this is the track where on several occasions on my bike the ground has come up to meet me, and Malawians appear to assist. Â As Im driving along the track taking care as even in a car the sand doesn’t make it easy to drive, I see ahead a large group of women coming towards me. Â Effectively blocking the road, dancing and singing at the tops of their voices. Â I slowed down and hadn’t got a clue what to do. Â As they got to the car …….. Â to use a biblical expression they parted like the waters of the Red Sea and just continued around the car. Â I was surrounded by approximately 500 women just singing, dancing, smiling, waving, laughing …………. I just sat in the car inanely smiling back at them and returning their waves. Â By this time I had completely stopped. Â After what seemed like hours but was probably only a few minutes, the whole entourage carried on its way down the track, singing, dancing, smiling, waving high fiving, waving flags whilst I sat now on my own in the car and just went
” Wow!” This was their way of celebrating Eid. Â An amazing event.
I carried on along the track only to see in the distance another group of women from the next village. Â This group seemed slightly larger than the last one. Â Forewarned about what was to happen I pulled the car over to the side of the track and waited for the swarm to approach. Â On they came all wearing amazingly bright coloured Chitenjes (rectangular cloth wrapped around their body ) singing, dancing, waving flags, laughing, smiling, waving flags. Â As they surrounded the car yet again many clearly wanted to high five me as they went past. Â I started to move a bit like “dad dancing” as I sat in the car. Â Many of the women noticed and applauded – Im sure not for my dad dancing but for sort of joining in with their celebration. Â At this point I think I must have been caught up in the moment and throwing all caution to the wind – as you do when faced with a situation such as this ! Â I opened my car door and joined them in their procession, singing, dancing smiling, and laughing. Â There was I surrounded by more than 500 women in one of the most rural parts of Malawi, dancing ( well just jigging a bit if i was honest) Â ……… well known for my previous dancing exploits and severely embarrassing my off spring on many occasions, “Dad, Â just stop !”….
I put all they had taught me and “Dad danced” all the way down the track with more than 500 women. Huge howls of laughter went up, cheering and just sheer pleasure, from both 500 women and myself ………… is this a Guinness book of records – hahahah.
It was a moment that just didn’t warrant taking out my mobile to record ……. it was indeed a “just live for the moment” experience. Â After a while they continued on their way and I had a long but fantastic walk back to my car. …….. still ‘Dad dancing’ !
As some would say “A Chance of a Lifetime”
Why did I get out of the car and join in ………… Â ” Carpe Diem ”
And while Ive been out here i have had so many “Chances of a Lifetime” Every moment, every chance  has been amazing.  ……………. But I couldn’t have done it and remained sane without my truly amazing family and friends who have kept in touch and given me so much encouragement over the last 12 months.  To all of you I say a huge
THANK YOU – THANK YOU SO SO MUCH
Zikomo kwambiri
Will this be the last blog ?
Before I start as well – Â just to say a shout out to all those teachers out there who are just about to start back at school – when you get to the Bank Holiday you always think “that’s it summer hols over for another year – if you are anything like me – thinking, Â can I do this for another year or will someone twig on that Ive been fooling people for all these years !!!! Good luck to you all and it’s not long till half-term. Â There may be some compensation in the fact that you only have about 30 children in your class – I can hear you shout – “ONLY !!!!!! ” but read on and hopefully by the end you may be thinking well actually I am quite lucky – ( you probably won’t but it’s a thought !)
The classroom has bare walls and no furniture.  The children sit on the floor.  There are little to no teaching resources in the room with just a very old blackboard at one end.  There is no electricity, no light and no running water.  The openings for the windows in general have no glass, and very often the doorway into the classroom has no door.  The schools often don’t actually have enough rooms for all the children so classes can take place outside in the open, usually in the shade if possible.
On arrival at a school you are literally greeted by hundreds of smiling faces who throng around you as you walk up to the buildings. They all want to say hello and just generally be with you as a huge escort.
The children come into the room, sit perfectly on the floor , put their headphones on and work individually at their own pace  for half-an-hour. Each child logs onto the App by recognising their face and name. Every time they go on the iPad it starts off from where they left off, and reinforces or enhances their previous activities. Throughout the day there is a steady stream of children so that by the end of the day, up to 300 children could have had the chance to work on the iPad every day. The teacher of course monitors and supports the activities as the children work.
teachers but whole communities are excited by the Learning Centres and the learning that is taking place.
Well similarly ‘Bunda’ stands in the distance when you are in Lilongwe …….. except it’s steeper. higher , more remote and far far more difficult to walk up. Â But not to be discouraged by that fact off we set in two cars to the foot of the hill. There are a number of things you have to understand in trying to envisage what I mean by the foot of the hill. Â All around the land is perfectly flat and then like a cone just stuck on the land, Bunda rises up in front of you. There is no road of course that leads to the bottom, but a very bumpy dirt track with numerous pot holes and ridges, On arriving at the foot of Bunda there were a number of adults and children milling around two or three straw thatched houses. 
imagine getting hold of your tiled bathroom floor at one side and tilting it at an angle of 60º, and trying to walk up it with a lean of 45º then the is what it was like climbing up Bunda – smooth granite rock.  Needless to say the boys, barefooted, jumped and danced their 
way up the slope, clearly knowing every turn. rock, slope that there was.  They had obviously grown up on this mountain and it was theirs. They took great delight in showing off its hazards and wonders.  Even more amazing was that as we were walking up, leaning at an angle of roughly 45º, coming in the opposite direction were ladies, many with babies strapped to them walking absolutely beautifully down the mountain, no panting, no looking that it was difficult, no looking tired, just walking , ………and there is no other word for it … majestically down the slope
 Now Bullets who have no sponsor,  apparently are ‘The People’s Team of Malawi and Silver do have sponsorship.  They are two rival teams who are from Lilongwe. Walking to the stadium was very much like a football match in England, crowds, people selling souvenirs. food etc.  We went into the expensive seats because this was the only side with a roof..  When I say seats it’s actually steps that you sit on, but everyone sits on the steps and no-one stands up on this side at all.  Whilst on the other three sides it’s all standing with no cover at all. The stadium probably holds about 15,000.  The pitch showed a few signs of grass but was extremely hard which meant the ball bounced excessively.  
This bounce invariably meant that tackles were occasionally high and a number of injuries were sustained. Â Whether this was normal or not I’m not sure but at least 8 players were taken off by stretcher during the game. There were various dances and considerable cheering as Silver took the lead 2- 0. Â Two highlights of the match occurred towards the end of the Game, some stones were thrown at a player from The Silver team. Â This resulted in the players and the referee standing around while the armoured car, throbbed into action and sped around to the far side of the pitch. Â Now at this point I was going to take a photograph, but remembering my previous interaction with Officials within Malawi, I slid my camera back in to my pocket, as these guys in the Armoured car clearly meant business and I didn’t fancy explaining that I had just arrived and was unaware of anything at all !!!!!!. Â The crowd who clearly were the target of the armoured car quickly disappeared, as the armoured car carried on its way around the pitch trying to spot the stone thrower – thoughts of Life of Brian came into my head ……….(Im not going to explain you’ll just have to watch the film and look out for the stone throwers !) –
to have transport.  As I’ve already mentioned this means learning to ride a motor bike. A long time ago, before the BCT training ( i.e. having to pass initial training before going out onto the roads – yes I’m that old !) .) I rode a motor bike to a school.  Quite badly I might add – who can forget the wheelie (is that how you spell it ?)  down the drive towards the garage door !   As those of you who are keen (or daft )  enough to have read the previous blogs will know I passed the figure of 8 in the car park and was allowed to venture out onto the roads of Blackburn.  Well something very similar happens in Malawi except ………………………. its zig-zags around very closely spaced 10 cones. I’m sure they were further apart in England !   At the beginning of the week I managed to kill 9 of the 10 cones, but after much swearings and repetitive shouts of  “Come on I can do this !!! ” at the end of the week I was judged to be safe to ride on the roads of Malawi.  When I say roads I of course mean roads and …….. dirt tracks. Fortunately they drive on the same side of the road.  So off I went following the instructor through the roads of the capital city of Malawi. That’s where the similarities between Blackburn and Lilongwe stop.
Mini-buses rammed full with people ( the popular form of transport in Malawi, similar to our buses but nothing like ! Â ) who never show any signs of pulling away, turning left or turning right……… in fact no indications whatsoever, except to yell out of the window at fellow road users; a great number of cyclists who compete for the roads and side ways with the pedestrians, a few goats who randomly cross the road, dogs who usually just cross the road with no thought of the Highway Code and of course cars and motor bikes!
confident when we turned down a track that even if I was on foot I would consider fairly difficult to walk down.  …………….. managing to avoid large ridges that go along the road, humps that go across the road , holes that appear from nowhere, slopes that disappear into large ditches and all on extremely dusty, sand like surfaces…………. and of course the goats, people, children and the whole world going along this track at exactly the same time as me !  Just about managing to weave my way through these challenges bringing back memories of going to Motor Bike scramble events at Hawkstone Park – here I was the ‘Lampkin’  ( how on earth do I remember his name I was 14 the last time I went to a scramble event !! )  of the Malawian dirt tracks  ……..
this point I did what all motor cyclists people do when they think – Oh My Goodness ! …………. ( well I did anyway ) I leaned as far as i dare to the left,  the truck being on my left  ……. and yes you’ve guessed it …. closed my eyes !!!!!! I know you shouldn’t but I guess it was a reflex reaction.  Waiting to hear a noise of my wing mirror being ripped off  I opened my eyes and somehow, and I’ll never know quite  how but the truck had gone past me and I was carrying on up the track. …………..  They say Four wheels move the body and Two wheels move the soul – well I have to say it was more than my soul that moved !
 of the road and every so often there is a police road block and or a speed camera !  Well we stopped at a road block and speed camera and I thought it was a very interesting thing as it was the first time that I had encountered it and in hind sight, well ………. probably not a good idea …… but …….. thought to record events that happened I lifted my camera up to take a photo …………………WRONG decision.  It was not warmly received.  In no uncertain terms I was told to get out of the car, and suddenly was taken back to my school days when standing in front of the head teacher for not wearing my cap to school………….Sorry sir, I didn’t know, Im sorry, It wont happen again, so sorry, I’m new here, I didn’t understand,  etc etc.. That made no difference in my school days and I received the obligatory slipper ! but I thought Id give it a go and fortunately it worked this time.  I was severely told off.  He demanded to see all the photographs and fortunately I hadn’t actually clicked the button so there wasn’t a photo  … It was very much a one way conversation and series of questions which didn’t really expect an answer  except for repetitive “sorry, sorry” Told in no uncertain terms to get back into the car and we were on our way ! Lesson learned !
A really beautiful lake, that early in the morning had the fishermen collecting their nets and placing their fish in containers ready to sell them  As well as the washing of clothes by the ladies at the waters edge.  The beach at the lake was just a hive of activity.  A fantastic scene to witness and one which I guess I will become used to but seeing it for the first time it just made you stand and take it all in .
                  And then of course the ladies carry their washing home – just amazing
additional passengers, a lady and her nephew, who are our guides to find this house. We arrive outside a house that is surrounded by the wall and security gate.  Looking around the house it looks good and very spacious but sadly it isn’t finished yet, and the builders are still inside it. Interestingly they live inside the house while they build it, their personal mosquito nets are carefully positioned in some of the rooms.  They say it will be finished in 2 weeks.  The plastering needed doing, utilities had to be put in and windows.  
It would be very handy if I want to hone up my soccer skills as the football pitch is right in front of the gates. Â We wait outside while we try to contact the owner to discuss the cost but sadly she wasn’t availableIt – Â definitely looked a good prospect 
but whether it would be ready for me is another question  We will have to wait and see.   Whilst waiting we buy some small orange fruit ‘things’ for which there isnt an equivalent in English.
minutes later. This apparently looked a really good house, which unfortunately they couldn’t go inside as the owner was away but from the outside it looked really good. Â So fingers crossed. Â We then drove the long journey back to Lilongwe – quite how Im going to do this journey on my motor bike I’m not quite sure. Â It goes right through the mountains, a very twisty and steep road where there used to be barriers on the side of the most dangerous bits but these have ‘disappeared’! Â But I’m sure after 5 sessions I’ll be raring to go – mmmmmm …do you really think so ? ?
The whole reason why I’m out here – and wow I was just blown away.  The children were so so well behaved.  I just stood and watched as these  6 year olds walked into the Learning centre ( 30 children out of a class of 150) 
They sat on the rush mats and waited beautifully. Â They passed the iPads along the line of 4, received their headphones, logged onto their group and found their names. Â Without any further fuss they proceeded to work their way through the tasks on the iPads. Â Hardly a word 
was spoken and certainly not by the children.
silently out of the class.
The staple diet is either chicken (in all forms) and Nsima. Â Â This is cooked, ground white maize flour that is used as the stodge ( and I mean that in the nicest way) for the majority of malawian meals. Â Eaten with your fingers this was my introduction to Malawian food. But to eat it you have to wash your hands first. Â I walked over to the sink and turned the tap on but no water. Â Fortunately my ‘minder’ while I’m country orientating was with me and asked them to turn on the water. Apparently it is turned off to save for when there is a problem with water supply. Â As I don’t have a big appetite I only managed one Nsima. As people had previously told me it has no taste at all but is very filling. So filling that I haven’t eaten another one – yet !
My home for the next few days is  the Country Office in the guest house. I’m staying here until accommodation can be found for me in Mangochi.  I guess at the moment I’m very lucky as I do have a fairly secure wifi access something I won’t have when I go ‘into the country .  We  have guards on the gates and it does take some getting used to them letting you out and then knocking on the
out for a yoghurt ! ( not that I used to eat yoghurt but you get the gist  …………..and I do now! ……..)
money into a machine and click its done – in Malawi you get the personal touch. Â A lovely photo shop with a pulled curtain and a chair at the far end of the room. Â A gentleman with a camera appears and takes your photo – telling me head to the left, no thats too much, not enough – ( I really couldn’t do a photo shoot. ) And then hey presto in a few minutes you’re given your 2 Passport photos.
this is devised by people who just want to create patterns with cones and make you drive around them on a two wheeled vehicle that was never made to go round cones spaced only a few metres apart.  So here we go again and according to local legend (or so I am told) if I’m ok on the bike then I will only need 5 days of training to be ready for the Malawian roads and if  I hit the cones or don’t manoeuvre in a figure of 8,  6 times successfully I’ll need 15 days !!!!!!!!!! I can’t wait ! As I write this I am awaiting to hear the full verdict and the sentence !
As I sit here in Johannesburg airport waiting for my final flight, I look back on the last 2 weeks and just go – WOW!  They really did just fly by – I am the world’s biggest Procrastinator – ( a brilliant talk on TED on Procrastination – if you haven’t seen it it’s well worth a watch ) –  “Don’t do things today when you can always do it tomorrow ! ”  The trouble with that is – I did have an end date – i.e. 26th ! and with so many things to do and so many people to see I give myself an impossible task.  There were people I didn’t actually get to see before I left. And I really did want to see them but for some reason my brain seems to work on a different time scale to  GMT !  (so my apologies ) I think I can do things when I actually don’t have the days or hours to do it!  Its the same philosophy as ‘it’ll only take 5 minutes to get there when in reality it’s a half hour drive ! I didn’t get the nickname for nothing – and those who don’t know it you will have to guess !!
I was slightly confused in Johannesburg when arriving, I stopped to check my ticket.  A fatal mistake as when I looked up everyone else had gone, no others to follow ! Walking down airport corridors totally on your own is very scary  With no real idea of where you are going you just keep walking and hope for the best.  Come to the sign Connecting flights ! Well thats me, so you dutifully follow
but in the back of your mind you also read the sign that says “Collect your bags for connecting flights”, but you remember the lady at check in in Manchester saying your bags went all the way on the journey, so you ignore the signs and cross your fingers while you’re walking.  Still totally on your own you see the sign Connecting flights – International and Connecting flights Domestic ! Decision time – based on lack of geographical knowledge –  is travelling to Malawi from Johannesburg, international or domestic – Snap decision as no-one else to follow ! Domestic  – based on It’s in Africa and not out of Africa ( good title for a  film !) …………….. wrong ! But was directed towards the correct place after queuing for 30 mins, by a very polite Customs guy !  Again the long walk, on your own, through the detectors which I set off 4 times as I forgot I was wearing a belt !