Apologies from the outset as I wrote this a few months back and forgot to click the ‘Publish’ button! What can I say !!!!! Old age comes to us all !!!
It’s now almost 10 months since I last posted a blog. That could be for a number of reasons:-
- Old age – Forgotten passwords, how to use the blog, why am I writing, what am I writing and even why did I come into this room !
0r
2. Nothing momentous or exciting has happened in the last 11 months!
or
3. Why would anyome want to read it in the first place ?
and lastly –
4. I’ve run so many races/runs that I just haven’t had time to put pen to paper or (to be down their with the kids !) fingers to keys. – they probably don’t say that but hey !
So why am I writing it now, I hear you shout – !
Well – and this is the self pity bit – I haven’t run now for almost 3 weeks. Now that may not seem a long time but to me it seems like years. In fact so much so I had to go back 3 times to my calendar to actually sit there and count the days. It has seemed like an eternity ! Now I realise this is pathetic and “Just get over yerself !” I hear you shout again ! But it has seemed like ages ago that I ran. I also realise that my little “Knee problem” is absolutely nothing compared to what others ( those in particular that Im trying to raise money for !) are going through, so my apologies for whinging !! So I feel a need for a recap and what has brought me to this self-pitying stage !
My aim was to run 1 or 2 races every month leading up to London Marathon 2024. Well I did ! And if I went through each of the runs step by step; and that’s an awful lot of steps; all of you particularly me would have fallen asleep ( must be the old age !) and this blog would make the Guinness Book of Records for being the longest boring blog on record. Currently up there in the top ten ! So not only am I going to be self-pitying, and Ill get to that bit later but Im going to be self-indulgent and just highlight some of the highlights – as they say a ‘dump’ . How cool am I ?
Take for example the Great North Run in September 2023. The downside of this run is that you are told to be in your ‘pen’ at the same time as everyone else regardless of your start time ! This means that you are standing around for almost 2 hours before the run. The positive side is you can bore everyone around you all about your reason for running, how many runs you’ve already completed and in general your life history since you first went to Nursery school! My thanks to the two lovely people, (you know who you area although you probably don’t read this !) who I was next to during these 2 hours who listened and nodded in all the right moments. My grateful thanks for putting up with my mutterings They must have felt pity for me – looking at my ageing years and thought, “This guy is not going to last the full distance!” One of them even told me afterwards that as she went zooming past me I didn’t say hello, as I thought it may put you off !!
But I did finish and then encountered the biggest downpour Gateshead has ever seen !! So heavy that trams stopped, busses stopped and the ferry stopped ! 75,000 runners and probably an equal amount of spectators all trapped in Gateshead !
Took me longer in the queue for the ferry
than it did to run half a marathon – Will I do it again this year ???? Of course I will ! Running it for Rosemere Cancer Foundation where Laura had a lot of her treatment.
I have just realised that I think I will need to cut this blog up into Episodes. As each of the runs Ive done have all had their own stories.
Next – the international traveler !!!! October 2023. First up Palma, Majorca. I mean after the down pour in the North East I deserved some sunshine and a feeling that it’s too hot to run !
Right ?
Wrong !!
To say I was wet is putting it mildly – it hadn’t rained for a week; and then ‘it’ ie the Heavens, thought Mike’s running I’m going to wait till he’s almost here then I’m going to ******** **** down ! And it did just as I was being dropped off
but as the spaniards gingerly tiptoed through the puddles with their running shoes in their hands, coming from Lancashire I just waded straight through !! and got very wet feet !!
The run was good. One white haired gentleman I was running past or was he running past me – probably the latter said
“Do you realise that between you and me we have almost doubled the average age of this marathon!” And even in Spain I got pats on the back saying – great charity to run for – which I absolutely love – just amazing. It’s the main reason I started running just 3 years ago – to support the charities fighting cancer !
But towards the end it, ie the Heavens, decided enough sun lets **** it down so much so that every single part of me, skin, vest, shorts, socks, shoes and anything else I was wearing were saturated, including my mobile !
Number 1- tip carry your mobile in something water proof if the weather is going to be inclement ! After the finish the Phone rang and I couldn’t answer it; everything was too wet – in the end I had to ask a boy standing next to me if I can use his finger – between you and me with my Spanish and his English I was a bit worried – but he eventually got the gist and he slid the answer bar across and I could finally answer !!! Phew ! But that was the last call on that mobile ! And we put it to sleep somewhere in the Mediterranean !
But not to be defeated – a week later if its Sunday it must be 
The beauty of having friends in far-flung places is that you can go and stay with them when you are running half-marathons in far flung places. Venice was no exception. For anyone that has attempted to run in Italy, you need a special form to say you are fit to run !! I duly filled in the form and sent it off, Checked on the website to make sure everything was ok.. In big red letters it said you haven’t uploaded your form so you can’t run !! I duly uploaded my form again and checked. Big red letters again ! NO form – no run. Uploaded again – Website NESSUNA FORMA – NESSUNA ESECZIONE ; by now I had become fluent in Italian ! I then decided that I was going to go and if I couldn’t run well C’est La Vie ( multi lingual by now !) On arrival to collect the number , the very nice lady said, “oh you can fill that form in here no one has filled it in !” Anyway the half-marathon was great except who knew there were so many bridges in Venice? They even built a special one for the run ! as if there wasn’t enough ! 
But I also claim the best photo bomb ever when there was a special service, the evening before, in a cathedral for the runners. The whole service was in Italian and I didn’t understand a word. I thought it would be a good idea to go in my running vest; no one else seemed to be, so I thought ‘in for a penny ‘ and joined the priests on the steps – just had to be done !
This blog has been sitting on my laptop for quite a while now so I best publish it before the writing begins to fade – along with my memory It’s an age thing !
Next episode: Running with a moustache, being ‘outed’ for being an old man, running with Lions, the beginnings of ‘fame!’ and then of course the biggy – London 2024
in what was probably one of the most exhilarating 5 hrs and 50 minutes of my life. The strangest feelings take over your legs; although they are tired and physically you are quite shattered, your legs just seem to want to keep running – slowly I must admit, but they just want to keep moving. There must actually be a ‘stopping distance’ for runners dependent upon the distance they have covered. You can’t just stop dead. But let’s not start at the finish, ‘cos that would be just too weird and a very short blog ! – lets go to the beginning.
that you can just stand back and admire. She has 3 totally awesome daughters who are totally growing up in her image. When the going gets tough, or I don’t want to run, or I want to walk, or I want to stop ; she is there saying “You can do this!” I run to celebrate your life and amazing courage.
) that my friend said,
They were four or five deep standing on the platform, all with their drop-off bag and most of them looking as nervous as I was. We packed onto the train. It was like rush hour on a bad day – but with one big difference – everyone was talking with each other, polite, and not worrying if you were standing on somebody’s foot. Crammed in, literally standing face to face, stories flowed about why we were all running, and it was sort of then that I realised why I was attempting to run 26.2 miles. I met some amazing people just within the 2 or 3 stops to Blackheath Common. Meeting people like Rachel – who gave a donation to my Justgiving page –
This time I just stood there and looked around; chatted with a group of first time runners. The sense of camaraderie was amazing. Again a donation appears on my Justgiving page from Gillian and Kath,
Who knew over three quarters of a million people would turn out to watch just me run !!!! but that is honestly what it feels like. And then of course you do have family and friends who also turn out to watch you – I do have to thank them all for their amazing support, generosity and just for being fantastic people who without them I definitely wouldn’t have been able to successfully complete the run. Their support was just amazing ! Even friends who you didn’t know were going to be there and suddenly you hear your name shouted and you look;
Back at the hotel i met my family, friends and fellow runners who had now become close friends; absolutely the icing on the cake.
Another prompt has been that as last Sunday was Mothers Day, we really wanted to mark it in some way or other. So we decided to get 3 helium ballons and would take them up to Laura ( why do I find it hard to say ‘grave’ ??) and place them on 3 plant baskets. The image that was in our minds were three helium ballons just standing perfectly upright looking very symmetrical attached to the three plant baskets. However, when we went up there, it was blowing a ‘hooley’ (is that how you say it ? ) and it was difficult enough to anchor the balloons down let alone position them so that they stood beautifully upright, as the picture will testify. But you kindof get the picture as Im sure Laura did .
or on a beach or even just walking down the road – the plumber, the builder, the mechanic, the fisherman. 
schools of course; to trainings of teachers and Head Teachers, 
to beaches at the side of the lake, 
down paths that you really don’t think a motor bike should go let alone a car; up hills that are incredibly steep yet unbelievably people are pushing bikes that are over ladened with enormous bags of charcoal or wood; ladies walking absolutely upright carrying enormous loads of wood or straw on their heads, well over their actually height in length. ( Does that make sense – just very very long pieces of wood !)
And every single one of them has a smile on their face. As you go past either on the bike or the car a raised hand to say hello and a smile always gets a hugely positive reply.
Bao ( a great game played on a wooden board with large hard seeds amazing for maths which probably accounts for why Im rubbish at it ! ) . Everyone watches as you go past, many wave and smile. …….. Id love to know if they are the same people I pass every time and they recognise me, saying – “Hello here he comes again! ” ………..I kind of hope they do
You just drive literally between the learners who again just stand very still and watch. You drive close to one of the classrooms or the Learning Centre, hoping that the door and burglar bars that protect the centre are open. Usually a good sign is if there is a chair outside with a bucket of water outside.
however good the 1 App is and it is excellent for Maths and Language, we are only using a small fraction of the power of the iPad. My schools have used an English Grammar App that exactly mirrors the final exams that Standard 8 Learners have to take……… to great effect with some amazing results.
The Coordinators of each of the schools have learned the technicalities of the iPad and can transfer files, images and documents amongst the iPads to be viewed by the Learners. In this way not only are we giving Learners knowledge but also giving Teachers technological knowledge of the use of mobile devices. Something which gives them huge enthusiasm and great excitement …….. it does me as well They love learning how to use the technology. Ive trained, Teachers, Head Teachers, Inspectors, Advisers …… all of whom have shown a real enthusiasm for the tool and can see the huge potential – tip of the iceberg comes to mind.
But I guess that’s true of many projects. Education Specialist Volunteers, like myself, carry out many activities and supported by good organisational management the results are indeed amazing. Of course there are frustrations, but then you have to continually remind yourself that you are working in an African Country that is one of the poorest in the world. And the vast majority of Malawians really want their country to achieve and improve ……… this is particularly true of the dedicated group of teachers and Head Teachers with whom I have been working.
This is torrential rain, the sort that wakes you up in the middle of the night with a few thoughts of “what on earth is that ?” descriptions such as “it’s coming down like stair rods ” (now they were an interesting piece of equipment that I remember from my Grandmas – do we still use them I ask myself ?), ” raining cats and dogs!” “it’s p ………….ersistently raining” or expressions from around the world “It’s raining dung head-first.”, “It’s raining old women with clubs.” “It’s throwing cobblers’ knives.” and the good old favourite “Il pleut comme vache qui pisse” Well all of these cannot describe what its like when it rains. But talk to a Malawian while I’m cowering under a shelter trying not to get wet and say ” The weather is horrible !” and they soon come back with “NO ! Not at all this is lovely weather !” after all its what they’ve been waiting for since last April. You never ever hear a Malawian complain about the rain. To quote “No Rain, No Life.” To them its their livelihood and indeed the difference between life and death. They just walk out in it like it wasn’t there, through streams and puddles; i use the term puddle loosely because it’s not a ‘Christopher Robin puddle who goes splashing in his red wellies’, these are lakes that a small goat could drown in !
– which I guess it is. But the effects of these “rains” is enormous and these effects happen literally over night.
I had no choice but to try – the worst case scenario would be Id tip my car on to its side the best would be that I’d be so proud of myself for getting past ! Pride here I come ! As I edged past the truck, reving ferociously, playing the clutch, windscreen wipers on maximum speed, tilting at an angle of 45 degrees, and “It’s still raining chair legs.” I guess at this point I closed my eyes and just drove feeling a bit like a motor cyclist on the wall of death ( do they still have those ?) Well suffice it to say I made it with out putting the car on its side. And as I passed the truck i opened one eye, and as far as I could see he was embedded in the muddy waters, I looked up at the driver, who had a big beaming smile on his face and he raised his thumb to say hi ! He wasn’t flustered at all, looking worried or anything – its just their way of life and they accept it. I have no idea how he got out and there is certainly no tow
truck to help him, but he must have got out because on my return journey all that was left were very very large muddy ruts in water.
which was amazing in itself, 
or my journeys on the local bus on a 5 hour journey which literally had so many people packed in with bags and baggages ( I was sat in the aisle with someone else’s bag on my lap – haha ) that it took 30 minutes just to let someone off!. 
short the little girl talked to me throughout the journey. Every so often we stopped to let people off and suddenly we were surrounded by faces at the windows of people selling anything from crisps, fruit, sweets, toys, onions, vegetables. and somethings that I didn’t even recognise but was set straight by my information partner next to me. At the stop before I got off, I lost my little Malawian guide as she got off. She insisted that I took a selfie of us and she disappeared off the bus.. Just as we were about to set off suddenly she appeared back on the bus at the front gave the biggest smile in the world ever and waved. It was just like an image from the closing shots of a movie and actually an image that I will always remember
The sheer size of classes, upwards from 100 to 250 children in a room with literally a blackboard and no other resources. The expanse of ground that each classroom sits on with no real boundaries for the children to play in, just an open very sandy ground. Or I could talk about an amazing school and an Irish guy who is really trying to change the way children are taught by creating and building classrooms and working with teachers in order to bring the best out of the children. I have got all those ideas stored in my head, but the trouble is each day brings a new situation and experience. There must be a book in this somewhere ( if only I could write !!! )
People walking probably equal the number of bicycles being ridden. If you’ve ever been to Cambridge or Oxford, you’ll know that there are bicycles everywhere. Compared to Mangochi the number of bicycles in these two University towns are minimal. There are bicycles everywhere. Many of them are taxi bicycles, with a 
padded seat on the back of the saddle. When I say padded, slight exaggeration as its more like a very thin seat covered in leather. You can either sit sidesaddle or just go for it and sit with your legs either side. Walking down the roads every 50 metres there are ‘taxi bicycles’ strapping enormous loads on to the back of the bikes, people climbing on to the back of the bike with all kinds of articles and bags just balanced on their heads, boxes, plates of fruit, clothes wrapped in a large sheet you name it they balance it on their head. When you initially see the goods balanced on the head you think that its amazing how they do it, but to then get on the back of a bicycle and still balance it, is just awesome. Whilst walking along the street today, I was continually asked if I wanted a ride. I declined adding Id rather walk. With every request to ride you get a very cheery smile, and a laugh and a joke about why not ride instead of walk.
The main streets as I said are mainly tarmac but the side roads are very much dirt tracks. deciding to go and explore, particularly on the motor bike can be an experience as the back wheel slides from side to side as you go over the sand. I guess its a bit like riding on a beach. Which is very similar to the paths that people walk along when they aren’t walking along the road! It’s exactly like a path that leads down to a beach, reasonably hard but covered in sand and dust. In many places there are small blue plastic bags which have been discarded. Being one of very few none Malawians, if not the only one ! I walk down the street and I am fairly conspicuous. Most people look at you and a great many say hello in all different sorts of ways but the main greeting is – “Hello, How are you, Very well thank you” This is usually said with a smile and in one continuous breath even before I can say “Hello” and “How are you?” The warmth of people is amazing. If you smile even just slightly the greeting always always comes straight back “Hello, How are you, Very well thank you”
As I sit here in Johannesburg airport waiting for my final flight, I look back on the last 2 weeks and just go – WOW! They really did just fly by – I am the world’s biggest Procrastinator – ( a brilliant talk on TED on Procrastination – if you haven’t seen it it’s well worth a watch ) – “Don’t do things today when you can always do it tomorrow ! ” The trouble with that is – I did have an end date – i.e. 26th ! and with so many things to do and so many people to see I give myself an impossible task. There were people I didn’t actually get to see before I left. And I really did want to see them but for some reason my brain seems to work on a different time scale to GMT ! (so my apologies ) I think I can do things when I actually don’t have the days or hours to do it! Its the same philosophy as ‘it’ll only take 5 minutes to get there when in reality it’s a half hour drive ! I didn’t get the nickname for nothing – and those who don’t know it you will have to guess !!
I was slightly confused in Johannesburg when arriving, I stopped to check my ticket. A fatal mistake as when I looked up everyone else had gone, no others to follow ! Walking down airport corridors totally on your own is very scary With no real idea of where you are going you just keep walking and hope for the best. Come to the sign Connecting flights ! Well thats me, so you dutifully follow
but in the back of your mind you also read the sign that says “Collect your bags for connecting flights”, but you remember the lady at check in in Manchester saying your bags went all the way on the journey, so you ignore the signs and cross your fingers while you’re walking. Still totally on your own you see the sign Connecting flights – International and Connecting flights Domestic ! Decision time – based on lack of geographical knowledge – is travelling to Malawi from Johannesburg, international or domestic – Snap decision as no-one else to follow ! Domestic – based on It’s in Africa and not out of Africa ( good title for a film !) …………….. wrong ! But was directed towards the correct place after queuing for 30 mins, by a very polite Customs guy ! Again the long walk, on your own, through the detectors which I set off 4 times as I forgot I was wearing a belt !
Then we come to the Comfort zone……….. well actually not the comfort zone at all. As far removed from the comfort zone that you can get! Two days after the VSO training – oh by the way we’ve booked you on some motor bike training days and it’s in 3 days time !
I decided to take the cowards way out, and just sit down, like a child waiting outside the headmasters office, and wait to be told what to do whilst a collection of other riders came in and donned the gear. Clearly they all had experience of riding and being there before, as these largish gentlemen ( well larger than me – not difficult I know) many bearded, put their armour on ready to do battle in the gladiator ring known as the ‘The Conned Playground’
